


How Many Times Will These Boys Fall in Love (spoiler: every time)

by vegaisthesound



Category: One Piece
Genre: Humor, M/M, Various AUs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-19 04:08:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 27,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3595755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vegaisthesound/pseuds/vegaisthesound
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just going to drop off all these tumblr AU prompts right here. </p>
<p>So far we've got: Baking Princess Law, Fuck Your Halloween Costume Contest, and Sweet Christ If You Ask To Borrow My Vacuum Cleaner One More Time I Will Fucking Cut You</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Baking Princess Law

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah now that I've got three of these I might as well compile them. It's all kidlaw right now, but I'll update the tags if that changes. I wasn't very serious while writing them, it's just for fun. Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I used to be the best baker in the neighborhood but then you showed up at Mrs Appleby’s 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honor is at stake and I’m going all out for the next event AU

Law is the best baker and is all smug and loves getting showered in compliments from all the moms and old ladies on the block whenever he brings dessert to one of the neighborhood parties, but then Kid shows up with these amazing baked goods and everyone starts complimenting HIM instead, and Kid’s all nonchalant about it like he just expects accolades like he’s some kind of genius!! so Law steps up his game and spends way too much time testing recipes but at the next potluck he still falls short, which only fans the flames of his fury.

Cue months of him engaging in silent cookie warfare with Kid, which Kid takes absolutely no notice of whatsoever, like he doesn’t even REALIZE that Law’s desserts are always 2nd best. Finally Law breaks down and approaches Kid like, “I give up. Please teach me your techniques. Are you free tonight?”

And this whole time Kid has not given a single thought towards the desserts because “holy shit fuck Trafalgar is HOT don’t make an ass of yourself don’t stare don’t say anything stupid do not fuck this up.” The only reason Kid even showed up to that first event is because his roommates bullied him into making a good impression so their neighbors wouldn’t call the cops on them every week like the last place they lived, and the only reason he keeps going to more events is because he’s hoping Law will be there. He brings dessert because it would be weird to show up without bringing anything.

He literally does not pick up on any of Law’s snide passive-aggressive “wow another amazing dessert that everyone loves con-fucking-grats” comments because he’s just ecstatic Law is talking to him at all, but also he never has any idea what to say so he’s just like “yeah, thanks,” which drives Law absolutely nuts.

So when Law says “I give up. Please teach me your techniques. Are you free tonight?” Kid has no idea what he means all he hears is “Are you free tonight” and he’s like Yes. Yes. Absolutely. I am free. All nights. And Law is like “Alright let’s use your kitchen I’ll come over at 8.”

Law shows up, very proud of himself for being humble enough to admit that he could learn something from Kid (and fully intending to steal his baking secrets and CRUSH HIM), and Kid is at a loss for what to do now that ~Trafalgar~ is standing in his house, so Law just takes charge and says, “Let’s go to the kitchen.”

And Kid is like, “Oh ok do you want a drink or something?? We’ve got netflix or… um…dvds?”

And Law’s like, “What? No, you’re going to teach me how you make those fucking desserts!”

“Desserts?”

“Yes, those desserts you always bring! I need to know why they’re so good!!”

“Uh.. I don’t make them… my roommate does. I just bring them.”

It finally clicks for Law why Kid didn’t seem to give a crap about the competition, or the compliments, and was acting like an aloof asshole. He processes that for a bit (and resolves to meet this mysterious roommate and steal THEIR baking secrets), and then he’s like, “So.. then why did you let me come over?”

And Kid goes pink and rubs the back of his head, “Ummm because you’re gorgeous and I thought going to all those weird block parties was finally paying off??”

Now that the fog of competition has lifted from Law’s eyes, he notices that Kid is actually really good looking and kind of adorable and his ego is totally stroked when he realizes Kid has been showing up to all the neighborhood events just to see him~

Aaaand one thing leads to another and they become boyfriends because there’s nothing Law enjoys more than being treated like he’s the best thing in the universe.

He also finally meets his true baking nemesis, which turns out to be Heat, who was a professional pâtissier that’s worked in top restaurants in Paris and NYC before he wrote a recipe book and retired early. He gives Law a signed copy of his book, and Law bullies him into giving private lessons too.

Kid enjoys this because it means Law is always over at his house and making him try new things and all he has to do to get Law in a good mood is shower him with compliments and say his dessert is better than whatever Heat made.

And so baking princess Law and his #1 fan Kid live happily ever after~~


	2. Fuck Your Halloween Costume Contest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re going to be at the halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year I am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me I will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um

Law’s crew always puts way too much effort into costumes, and they always enter the contest for best group costumes at the big Supernova Halloween Party. Law has absolutely no say in this, because if it were up to him he wouldn’t wear a costume or go to any parties, but his attitude has been vetoed since he is a fun-hating nerd. Also he just can’t seem to say no when his crew gets all excited and spends weeks planning & making costumes, and they always make sure his costume looks the coolest anyway since he is the captain and they love [dressing] him [up].

For the last few years they’ve been the reigning champions of group costumes, and they make a big deal about flaunting their trophy and making fun of Kid & his crew for not having costumes, saying dorky stuff like apparently Kid’s crew doesn’t feel the need to dress up because they look like it’s always halloween for them. They’re kind of bad at trash talking.

The first year Kid blew them off since only chumps spend a lot of time on costumes for a stupid party. But then it kept happening and he does not appreciate the implication that his crew isn’t cool just because they don’t dress up for shitty halloween and win shitty contests that nobody cares about!

So THIS year, Kid is determined to stick it to those assholes. He demands his crew think of good costumes, and they’re all really scary monsters with wild hair and hella eye makeup and claws and fangs dripping fake blood (at least everyone hopes it’s fake but really who knows). And he’s like, fuck yeah this is awesome we’re definitely going to win and then I will RUB IT IN TRAFALGAR’S FACE!! (Law would not actually care, but his crew would indeed be furious)

Then Law, FUCKING LAW, shows up to the party dressed in that yellow motorcycle outfit from Kill Bill (his crew is a bunch of other Tarantino characters). Where the fuck did he get a perfectly tailored yellow leather motorcycle jacket & pants that cling to his stupid perfect ass like they were painted on? And why is he wearing heels?? Not that Kid’s complaining, it’s just Uma didn’t wear heels in the movie! That’s cheating!! But Kid doesn’t even care about the contest anymore, all he wants to do is lick that costume off Trafalgar.

As it turns out, Law has a thing for blood (who would have guessed), and he really likes Kid’s costume too.  
Neither the Kid pirates nor the Heart pirates win the trophy that year. They couldn’t compete because they were missing group members… since their captains snuck off for a night of hot & freaky rogue-assassin-meets-prince-of-hell fucking.

The Heart pirates agree: no more ultra-sexy costumes for Law. 

Next year they make him a complete Darth Vader costume, but somehow the same thing ends up happening. Mostly because Kid has figured out that it’s actually super easy to convince Law that they could be having a better time alone. Naked.

Winning the costume contest quickly becomes the least of the Heart pirates’ concerns once their captain keeps disappearing for hours on end whenever Eustass Kid is around.


	3. Sweet Christ If You Ask To Borrow My Vacuum Cleaner One More Time I Will Fucking Cut You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re the only person on my floor who has a vacuum and I spill things A Lot sorry can I borrow it again AU

Law doesn’t really mind so much that Kid keeps asking for his vacuum to the point where he must use it twice as much as Law does. Kid is always polite when he asks to borrow it, and it’s cute that he gets a little sheepish like “Yeah..sorry…again…” and says thank you, because Kid’s 6’5” with big muscles and a scary face and he's coming by to grovel for his vacuum cleaner.

But one day Law is in the worst mood, and when Kid knocks on the door for the third time that week at 9am on a goddamn Saturday before Law has even had any coffee, he rips into Kid and spends at least five minutes reprimanding him for being inconsiderate and selfish while Kid stands there speechless.

First Kid gets mad that he’s being chewed out over a vacuum cleaner, of all fucking things, and that Law has never even hinted that it bothered him before so why the fuck is he getting so mad now. Up until then, Law had seemed like someone who really didn’t give a shit, so Kid hadn’t felt bad for borrowing it so much. He was always nice about it and gave it back right away, what’s the fucking problem? And Law could ask to borrow something of his anytime! Kid would be happy to loan him his uh… um. Ok, Law’s apartment is way nicer than his, he probably has a good job and doesn’t need to borrow Kid’s crappy stuff.

And Kid realizes that shit, Law’s got a point. What it really comes down to is that he’s asked Law for this favor a million times even though he barely knows the guy, and he’s never offered to do anything in return.

Law finally runs out of things to say and is standing in the doorway glaring at Kid, a little out of breath, just waiting for Kid to argue with him so he can REALLY give him a piece of his mind.

But then Kid says, “You’re right, I’m an asshole. Sorry. Can I do something to pay you back?”

Law is taken aback that Kid actually apologized. If circumstances were any better he would’ve just dropped it, but he does not forgive so easily when he’s woken up after a week of graveyard shifts. The vacuum cleaner was only a good excuse to yell at somebody, and he’s feeling vindictive.

So he’s like, “Alright. Yes. You can use the vacuum today… if you come back tomorrow to clean my whole apartment.”

And Kid is like, “Wha- seriously?”

“That’s the deal, take it or leave it.”

“Fuck, ok fine, I’ll clean your apartment.” Shit, Kid hardly even cleans his own apartment except when there’s rice spilled literally all over the damn carpet. But he does owe the guy, he can’t deny that. On one hand, Law’s place always seems pretty clean from what he’s seen of it, so maybe he won’t have to do much. But on the other hand maybe that just means Law is some kind of neat freak and tomorrow he’s going to be scrubbing grout with a toothbrush.

So Kid takes the vacuum, and then the next day he brings it back and stays to clean, as promised.

Law is in a much better mood by then, mostly because he made sure to tell Kid to come over in the afternoon, and he’d had plenty of time to rise from the dead before being forced to talk like a normal human being.

He’s even tempted to take back what he said, but Kid looks too cute all ready to clean with his hair tied back and everything, so Law just asks him to start in the kitchen.

Law hangs out on the couch with his laptop while Kid wipes the counters and washes the floor, then vacuums the rugs in Law’s living room, then does the bedroom, and finally ends with the bathroom. It’s easy enough for Kid, Law doesn’t complain that he’s not doing it right and everything is already pretty clean. There aren’t even any dishes in the sink, or dirty laundry on the floor (though to be honest Kid wouldn’t mind that, he’s always wondered what Law was wearing under those tight jeans, the man had an ass he’d get on his knees for any day).

When Kid’s finished with all the rooms, Law is feeling practically chipper. It’s not every day he gets to watch a big strong man carefully dust his knickknacks. He offers Kid a beer as thanks for the hard work, and while they’re sitting together in the lemon-scented kitchen, Law teases him that he could make a lot of money as a housemaid. If he wants to come back again next Sunday, Law will even provide the uniform.

Kid rolls his eyes. “Yeah yeah, fuck off. This is just one time for letting me use your vacuum.”

Law sighs, “Figures. I finally find a man who knows not to mix bleach and ammonia, and he only wants me for my cleaning supplies.”

Kid almost chokes on his beer. He didn’t think Law was into guys, since he didn’t respond to any of Kid’s suggestive remarks the first time they met, so he had just assumed he was barking up the wrong tree and that was the end of that. This new knowledge makes him see this day in a whole new light. Shit, he could’ve been laying the charm on this whole time!! Wait, didn’t Law say something about a maid outfit? Holy shit, and he told him to fuck off. Why on earth did he say that!! What the fuck is wrong with him!!!

Law is completely aware of Kid’s internal freak out, given that Kid goes all quiet and his ears turn red enough to match his hair. It’s so fucking cute he can’t stand it.

“Anyway… I’m getting kind of hungry. Want anything? My treat.”

Kid manages to get out an audible ‘yes,’ so Law orders some take out and gets Kid to walk with him to pick up the food. By the time they make it back to his apartment, Kid has gotten over regretting all the opportunities he missed by not knowing Law was gay, and is making up for it by flirting shamelessly.

Law decides dinner can wait until after he finds out what Kid looks like naked.

For their one month anniversary, he gets Kid that maid uniform. And the rest is history.


	4. What To Do With Cute Strays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “its 4 am and im drunk as fuck in a mcdonalds and you have been watching my trying to eat this burger for 30 minutes” au

Kid is completely trashed, and starving, but he's so tired and out of it that every time he tries to take a bite of his food he has to set it back down sadly, taking a sip of his coke instead. He hasn't noticed that Law has been watching him since he sat down.

Law is too amused by this big scary man being laid low by a #4 combo to leave, even though he's finished his own food a long time ago. When Kid runs out of soda and is left slurping pitifully at ice cubes, seeming incapable of going up for a refill or doing much of anything else either, Law goes over and sits down on the other side of his table.

"Hi there."

Kid looks up at him suspiciously. "Whozzat."

"You seem to be having some trouble, and the manager is starting to look annoyed. Want some help?"

"Don' need it."

But Law takes a french fry and holds it up for him, saying, "Here, eat this," and Kid chomps it from right out of his fingers without hesitation.

Law feeds him all the fries and half the burger like that, and Kid only gets more adorable. He just looks so happy to finally eat those dumb fries. When he doesn't want anymore, Law says, "Alright, let's get you home. Do you want me to call you a cab?"

And Kid whines, "No, my roommate's a dick. I hate him."

"Well, where are you going to sleep then?"

"Dunno."

"Do you want to stay at my house for the night?"

"Sure," Kid answers, with a grin so bright and guileless that Law can't help smiling back. If Kid acted like this someone might wind up taking advantage of him, it really wasn't safe to let him wander around alone at this hour.

So Law brings Kid home. They introduce themselves in the cab, and once they're sitting in close proximity Kid seems to forget how they met and why they're going to Law's house. He starts getting flirty and squeezes right up next to Law, taking one of his hands in his own so he can trace over the tattoos with his fingertips, fascinated. "You have really nice hands, I like your ink."

Law lets him do as he wants, entertained by Kid's total lack of a mental filter. By the time they arrive, Kid is pretty much hanging onto him in the back of the taxi, starting to doze off but still awake enough to nuzzle against his neck and mumble about how good he smells.

Law pays the driver and hauls Kid out from the back seat, helping him up the house and elbowing him away when he makes a nuisance of himself while Law is trying to unlock the front door. He attempts to deposit Kid on the couch with a blanket and pillow, but Kid is having none of it.

"Wha- where you goin'?"

"To bed. If you need anything, help yourself. There's more blankets in the linen closet, and the bathroom is just down the hall. Goodnight."

"I don't wanna sleep by myself," Kid complains, immediately abandoning the couch that Law had so considerately made up for him.

Law reminds Kid that he's still drunk and when he wakes up he's not going to remember where he is, but he just can't say no when Kid follows him to his room and climbs right into bed with him. He figures if Kid is upset in the morning to find himself in a strange bed with a strange man, he can always apologize after the fact.

Kid wastes no time in making himself comfortable, happily wrapping both arms around Law and snuggling up to him. He doesn't even try anything, just falls asleep right away, half on top of him.

After he's out cold, Law lets himself indulge in finding out what Kid's hair feels like. He's been wanting to touch it all night, only holding back because Kid was so plainly inebriated. It looks gorgeous and feels even better, fine and silky, running through his fingers as easily as water.

 

In the morning he wakes up to a pair of hands sliding down over his pajamas and squeezing his ass, pulling him up tight against a thick morning erection. At first he's surprised by Kid's forwardness, until he realizes Kid isn't even awake, just rutting in his sleep. Regardless, Law's dick quickly becomes interested in return. He opens his legs around Kid's hips and starts answering Kid's lazy thrusts with his own, getting hard from grinding himself into Kid's deliciously heavy cock.

Kid groans into his shoulder and rolls him onto his back, lifting his ass up so his legs stay spread wide over Kid's thighs. Kid's definitely awake now, kissing Law's neck open-mouthed as he tugs off Law's pants, groping at his cock and humming appreciatively to feel it full and hard before he pulls his own shorts down. Then he finds Law's mouth and starts kissing him more seriously while rubbing his naked cock on Law's bare ass.

Kid seeking him out by instinct, driven to rut and fuck just like a dog catching the scent of a bitch in heat, turns Law on like nothing else. His frustration at having such a nice cock so close but not inside him motivates him to get his thoughts together long enough to push Kid off and find lube and a condom. He presses them both into Kid's hand then gets right on his knees and elbows, reaching back with one hand to spread his ass for Kid.

"Oh fuck," is all Kid says, hastily uncapping the bottle of lube and squirting out way more than necessary in his excitement.

He fucks Law with his fingers first, and Law arches his back and moans to encourage him, even though he's already so starving for it that he really wouldn't mind if Kid just shoved his whole cock into him without any prep.

It doesn't take Kid long to get around to that though, and Law's first words of the day are, "I'm coming, I'm coming!" as Kid jerks him off while fucking him wide open.

When Kid finishes and pulls out, sitting back on his heels, Law lays down again and leans against the pillows.

"Good morning, Eustass," he purrs, reaching out to tug Kid forward by the arm until he comes close enough to be kissed.

"Shit. Yeah, mornin'," Kid says, in between eager kisses. "That was amazing, ah…um."

"Trafalgar."

"Sorry, I must've been really fuckin' wasted last night…" He huffs a short laugh. "I didn't do anything too stupid did I?"

"Not at all, you were very easy to look after." Law strokes his hair back, wondering just how different Kid is when he's sober, and if he would be willing to eat his breakfast out of the palm of Law's hand.


	5. Fucking Witches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘ive been given a prophecy to save the world but i have to be partners with thiS ASSHOLE’ au 

hahahaa ok I can see Kid being the unexpected hero of earth, kind of rough around the edges (ok really rough) and pretty pissed off about it, but heck when a coven of witches gives you a magic sword and tells you to go kill The Dark One before the next solstice or whatever, you kinda look like a total jackass when you try to turn them down.

Anyway, since he’s just a mere mortal the witches give him directions to go find a guy who can help him find the gates to the underworld and then act as his guide while traveling around so he doesn’t wander unwittingly into some basilisk cave and get turned into a crystal gem (statue), thus dooming them all.

His guide turns out to be Law, who like literally JUST decided to pack up and go live in antarctica as a hermit and study the aurora and the Old Gods and lost civilizations packed under a mile of solid ice etc. etc.. And Law is PISSeD that somebody already came to ruin it, he’s only been there a MONTH goddamnit and he was really looking forward to being a hermit.

So as soon as Kid tracks him down, they get into a huge argument about how the hell did Kid know he was there and who sent him and Law is just like “GoddaMN WITCHES, FUCK!! Never make a deal with a goddamn witch! They always SCREW YOU OVER JUST LIKE THIS UGH! Alright tell me what you want shitface, and then get the hell off my island" (yes, Law thinks the entire continent of antarctica is his now, and he has plans for all those little research stations set up on His Island across from the tip of south america... bad plans. You ever seen The Thing [1982]? kind of like that.)

Kid explains about the whole save-the-world-from-unending-darkness-and-despair quest he's been entrusted with, and of course Law just gets more mad.

"Is this REALLY necessary though? Come on!" 

And Kid is like "fuck if I know, but this magic sword is the real deal and I think there was some mention of a blood debt so unless you wanna explain to the witches why you won't go with me then shut up and lets get this over with"

Then off they trek into the arctic wasteland in the direction of the nearest backdoor to hell, while Law mutters constantly about never giving witches even one tiny drop of blood because they will lord it over you for the rest of eternity and then you will find yourself leading some redheaded pillock around in the snow like you're some kind of babysitter for stupid ugly children when all you wanted to DO was get some fucking WORK DONE--

"Oh my god will you SHUT THE FUCK UP also are we there yet."

Eventually they manage to get where they're going without Kid simply strangling Law and taking his chances on this mission apocalypse alone, and Law proves himself to actually be useful, in a really annoying way. He gets Kid to look down a really deep crevice in the ice, one of several that they've been walking around, and then kicks him down it and jumps in afterwards. It really would have been nice to have some warning that that particular crevice was actually the south pole's secret spiritual gateway, but Law wanted a soft landing and he didn't think Kid would be particularly obliging at that point.

They land in another world, one that is not so damn cold at least, but Kid has even less of an idea where he is than before and he loses any hope he had that he could ditch Law as soon as he was in the right dimension. Everything is weird and freaky, half of it is gross, it's made out of gross things, and crawling with more gross things, and the other half is just plain on fire as far as Kid can tell. 

And Law makes him walk in front! Because he's the one with the stupid magic sword! Doesn't Law have any tricks for getting around down here?! No of course not, all he's good for is saying stuff like "Oh don't let that giant flaming seventeen-legged spider drip any venom on you, you'll be 95% covered in rotting pustules by tomorrow."

So Law merely points the way and Kid has to hack through a bunch of filthy creatures that are all abominations against nature and goodness and common fucking decency, until FINALLY they reach the giant obsidian palace (also mostly on fire) that looks like it was designed by fucking M.C. Escher, if Escher flipped out and cannibalized his family for inspiration.

The magic sword really comes in handy, even against a literal army of the most disgusting hell garbage that no mortal could ever imagine. Really it's almost too easy, but Kid is just happy that they are tearing their way right into the heart of the palace because the sooner they get this over with the sooner he can ditch Law (but not before Law tells him how to get out of this fucking trash world so he can go home).

They bust into the throne room and the Dark One is RIGHT THERE and he's so old and gross and this whole trip has been such a pain in the ass that Kid just stabs him in the face with the sword. And Law gives him a golf-clap, “Yes good very violent hooray you did it. Now go tell the witches to never ever talk to me again.”

Except... the thing neither of them knew about the Dark One is that whoever kills the old Dark One becomes the new Dark One. They find out real quick though, when Kid sprouts some sickass horns and his eyes start glowing and his hair spontaneously bursts into flames (hot damn). 

Law is struck speechless for about one second before he starts yelling, “FUCKING WITCHES! THEY KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN! I FUCKING HATE THEM SO MUCH!! GOD! DAMNIT!! I'll fucking show them.. wait no, WE'LL show them! If you do what I say we will screw them over SO hard!!”

And Kid is like, “Mmhm, mmhm, I hear ya. But I've been waiting for the moment when I could finally shut you up, and now that this bullshit quest is over and I am full of limitless evil energy and dark intentions it really seems like the right time. So if you wouldn't mind, just suck my fucking dick already.” 

Yeah, they probably could have guessed earlier that Kid wasn't really 'Hero of Light and Goodness' material and been a little more suspicious about the whole ordeal from the beginning... but they were too busy being mad at each other to bother with thoughts like _maybe being coerced and blackmailed into doing something by a bunch of witches isn't going to turn out so well for them_.

But to Kid's surprise, Law does not seem upset about this? He's just like, “Right, good plan, let's do that. I am so ready to be the Dark One's consort. Just imagine the looks on those stupid witch faces when they realize their little plan didn't work out...they are going to FLIP their SHIT.” 

The witches figured that when Kid became the next Dark One he would promptly murder the shit out of Law and eliminate that annoying little loose end for them – which is why they chose Law to be his guide in the first place. 

Boy are they surprised when they get their invites to the Hell-wedding of the millennium a few weeks later.


	6. The Literal Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “this is totally awkward considering before this the only interactions we’ve ever had have been casual nods to each other in the hallway but there’s a _huge fucking spider_ in my bath tub and you seem like the friendly neighbor type please help me” au

~Kid's POV~

One night Kid is getting back from work. It's after midnight, all he wants to do is get inside and have a drink before passing the fuck out, but just as he's sticking his key in the lock someone down the hall says, “Hey, Eustass.”

He looks up and sees the guy from apartment 4B standing there. Trafalgar, he thinks? He introduced himself when he moved in but since then they haven't said a word to each other. Trafalgar seems kind of shifty, like he's nervous about something, and that piques Kid's interest enough that he stops unlocking the door. 

“Hey.”

“I was wondering if I could ask you for a favor.”

“Uh... what is it?” 

Trafalgar glances down the hall as a door opens and Mrs. Friedman walks out. He waves Kid over. “Just come in for a second.”

Well, that's not suspicious or anything. If Trafalgar is going to ask him to hold some drugs or something he'd have to decline, he really didn't have the time for that shit anymore. 

Still, he is kind of curious... and Trafalgar's cute enough that even if he did wind up being a drug dealer it wouldn't be such a huge waste of time to hear him out. So Kid follows him.

He closes the door behind himself once inside, and finds Trafalgar pacing in front of what should be the bathroom door if their apartment layouts were the same.

“So, what's the problem?” he asks, suspicions rising further.

Trafalgar goes still, and crosses his arms. “This is embarrassing. I wish I didn't have to ask really, but you don't seem like the type to gossip. Also you don't seem very easily put off by things...”

Oh no, it's worse than drugs isn't it. Is it some weird fucked up kink shit? Did Trafalgar choke someone to death during sex and is now asking him to help get rid of the body?? Fuck, he knew the guy looked like a pervert but this was not how he imagined confirming it. Oh god, he should just leave right now and start looking for a new apartment before he gets roped in as an accomplice.

Trafalgar hesitates for so long that Kid's patience runs out. 

“Well? What the fuck is it?” 

Trafalgar pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. “There is a spider in my bathtub and I can't go near it. Can you get rid of it for me.”

“Huh?”

“I know it's stupid, but I've had a very long day and I just need to go to sleep. If there were any other way to do this without bothering you, I would have rather done that instead”

“Uh.. that's it? Really?”

“Yes really,” Trafalgar snaps, then seems to remember he's still asking Kid for a favor. A favor that must apparently remain a secret. “Sorry. Will you do it or not? …Please.”

“Yeah, sure. You didn't have to make such a big deal out of it. I thought you were gonna ask me for something weird.”

Trafalgar instantly looks relieved, like Kid had just promised to get him off death row.

“In there, right?” Kid asks, pointing at the closed door that Trafalgar is standing in front of and getting a nod in reply. He waves Trafalgar away, and goes into the bathroom.

Yep, that sure is a spider in the tub. It's big too, one of those fat ones that also have the long gross legs. 

Kid doesn't have a problem with spiders himself, and he thinks it's kind of silly to be afraid of them to the point of not being able to sleep with one in the same apartment (seriously, they're more afraid of you than you are of them), but he can understand why some people couldn't stand them. They're creepy little motherfuckers.

At least after this he could ask Trafalgar if he'd maybe like to get a drink sometime. The guy seemed to trust him enough to keep a secret, that's a good sign right? And now he'd practically be a hero.

Kid snatches a little paper cup off the counter then herds the spider into it, using a folded piece of tissue as a lid, and brings it back out of the bathroom. 

“Did you get it?” Trafalgar is quick to ask. 

“Yeah, where do you want me to toss it?”

Trafalgar throws his arms up. “It's still ALIVE?! KILL IT, KILL IT!!” 

Kid really didn't expect such a violent reaction, and it startles him enough that he drops the fucking cup. 

“FUCK! WHERE IS IT?!” Trafalgar is shouting, and scrambling away, and his pure panic triggers Kid's too.

“I don't fucking know!” he yells, as he joins Trafalgar in fleeing from the hallway.

They regroup in the next room, jittery but unharmed.

“Why did you do that,” Trafalgar hisses at him once they're safely behind the couch.

“I didn't think you'd flip out like that! Jesus!”

“I told you I couldn't go near it, why on earth would you think it'd be acceptable to carry it right up to me in a stupid cup?!”

“Well I'm sorry! It wasn't going anywhere until you started screaming!”

“ _You're_ not going anywhere until it's _dead_ ,” Trafalgar says, and he sounds like he really means it too.

“Fine, I'll go look for it. Stay here.”

Kid goes back to the bathroom, but the little fucker is nowhere to be found. Trafalgar is not happy when he hears that.

Kid tries to reason with him. “Look, it's probably not going to come out again for a while. You're totally safe, just.. I don't know, close the door to your room or something?”

“If it were as easy as that I wouldn't have had to ask you for help, would I? No, you're staying here until I know for sure it's gone.”

“Are you fucking kidding me,” Kid groans, half to Trafalgar and half to god. Why God, why did this have to happen the instant before he would have otherwise been home, safe and sound and having a beer in front of his tv? Is he being punished? Is it because he hasn't been to church in two decades? He'll go tomorrow just please, please make Trafalgar let him return to his own apartment.

“I assure you I'm being completely serious. If you leave me here after setting that thing loose and _losing it_ , I will make you regret it.”

Fuck you, Trafalgar. And fuck you too, God. “You know, you seemed a lot more chill before today,” Kid grumbles. 

“I apologize for shattering the illusion by allowing you to witness me during my most vulnerable moments,” Trafalgar snipes back.

They end up on the couch after standing around like a pair of idiots for a few more minutes. Kid takes up a post that gives him a clear line of sight down the hall so he can spot any movement, and Trafalgar tucks his feet under himself, protecting them from the very scary spider. He doesn't even offer Kid anything to drink, like an asshole. Probably didn't want to risk walking past the danger zone to get to the kitchen. 

Trafalgar seems too tense for conversation, and Kid is a bit too pissed off to try and be friendly, so time passes slowly. It's intensely boring. After about half an hour of keeping silent vigil, Kid starts nodding off and gets a sharp poke in the ribs.

“Hey. Hey! You can't fall asleep,” Trafalgar is saying, giving him another jab for good measure.

“I'm awake,” Kid growls, brushing his bony fingers away.

“No sleeping. You lost it, you need to find it.”

“I know, I know. I wouldn't even fucking be here if I didn't know.”

The same thing happens again ten minutes later, with Trafalgar shaking his shoulder.

“Eustass! Wake the fuck up! What if you miss it!”

“I'm not gonna miss it,” Kid says, cracking his jaw on a yawn.

“Yes you will. You're useless,” Trafalgar says with a huff.

“I had a long day too, alright princess? You wanna see if you can get someone else to stay with you all night looking for a piece of shit bug? Be my fucking guest.”

Trafalgar scowls at him, but doesn't have a fresh comeback for that.

The next time Kid wakes up, Trafalgar is blessedly quiet. Because he's asleep, leaning against Kid's arm.

Kid glances at the clock. 2 AM. He's been here almost two hours already, and now he can finally go the fuck home. Maybe he'll just leave a note that says he found and killed the spider while Trafalgar was asleep... would he believe that? Doubtful. The guy is way too intense about this whole thing, he'd probably demand to see the body. 

Except Kid doesn't care anymore what Trafalgar might do to him upon waking up alone with a spider still at large inside his apartment, he just wants to leave already. However, when he starts to get up, he realizes that Trafalgar is actually clinging to his arm in a death grip.

After unsuccessfully trying to pry him off, Kid decides he'd rather get some sleep here than risk Trafalgar waking up and noticing that he was attempting to escape without killing the spider. 

So he settles into a more comfortable position, arranging Trafalgar as delicately as he can to fit alongside him, and resigns himself to staying prisoner until morning.

He almost feels a little sorry for Trafalgar. Almost. If the guy was willing to make a complete ass of himself for the sake of a 100% guaranteed spider-free home, it's probably not just some garden variety arachnophobia he's dealing with. Of course it would have been nice if it all hadn't gone so horribly wrong at the beginning, or if Kid was just left out of Trafalgar's melt down altogether... but still. He wonders what Trafalgar would have done if he hadn't been passing through the hall at the right time. 

For that matter, he hadn't noticed Trafalgar until he heard his name called. Is it possible that Trafalgar had been waiting for him specifically? That's... kind of weird (mostly straight up plain weird), but also kind of flattering. 

The thought that Trafalgar might have taken more notice of him than he originally imagined makes being trapped overnight with him a little more tolerable, and since Kid is already exhausted it doesn't take long before he's asleep for a third time.

He wakes up in the morning when something heavy moves around on top of him, and opens his eyes to find that somehow during the night he managed to get laid out flat on the couch with Trafalgar lying over him like a blanket. 

Trafalgar seems to have just woken up as well, and he pushes himself up off Kid's chest to look down at him. It's not a bad look, or at least he doesn't look mad.

“Mornin'” Kid mumbles. This is more awkward than a one night stand... Though Trafalgar is a lot cuter than most of his one night stands, even while still fully dressed with a couple lines across his cheek from sleeping with his face pressed into Kid's shirt, so maybe it's not as awkward as it could be.

Trafalgar sits up the rest of the way, but doesn't try to get off of him, only covering his mouth for a huge yawn.

Watching him makes Kid yawn too, and when he's done with that Trafalgar is looking at him again.

“Good morning. I assume you never found the spider.”

“Ugh, enough with the fucking spider. We're still alive aren't we?”

To his surprise, Trafalgar smirks at him instead of starting the expected argument.

“True. I may have overreacted-” Kid has to bite his tongue not to interrupt, Trafalgar doesn't seem to notice. “I don't want to get into it all, but I've had a lot of late nights recently and it seems to have come back to bite me yesterday. I really... appreciate your help.”

Kid feels himself grinning. “Are you trying to say thank you?”

“Yes, thank you very much,” Trafalgar says emphatically, rolling his eyes.

“You're welcome. And I'm sorry I dropped the cup when you screamed.”

“I didn't scream.” 

“I won't tell anyone, I swear.”

“Eustass...”

“I won't,” Kid repeats, his grin easing off into more of a smile. “About anything. And I'll come back if it bothers you again.” 

He gives Trafalgar's leg a comforting rub without thinking about it, and then realizes how that could be totally misconstrued when Trafalgar's eyebrow lifts up. “Oh uh, sorry I didn't-”

“No, it's fine,” Trafalgar is quick to reassure him, and then – oh god – he's leaning down and murmuring, “Really, thank you,” right against his lips before kissing him.

Kid's brain shorts out at the lack of warning. He only woke up a minute ago and he's had zero time to prepare himself for this, but luckily he responds on pure reflex, squeezing Trafalgar's thigh and circling an arm around his back to pull him all the way down.

It's just amazing how easily they slide together, so slow and sweet it makes his teeth ache. 

Trafalgar's hands frame his face, run over his hair, down his arms and chest, guiding his own hands _lower_ and – dear merciful mother of christ he wouldn't have believed that ass could feel any better than it looked but here he is, unabashedly groping it through Trafalgar's jeans, and it's so, so much better.

Just as he's slipping his fingers past the waistband of those jeans, and Trafalgar is pressing into him, tilting his hips at _such_ a perfect angle, Trafalgar leans back looking like he's going to say something beautiful, like “I want you,” or “I need you,” or “Let's fuck already.”

But instead his expression transforms in horror and he yells, “SHIT!” while shoving a hand into Kid's face and jumping off him like he's made of fire.

“Ow, Trafalgar!” Kid sits up to go after him, but then he has a thought, and turns around to look at the wall.

There, directly above him, is the spider. He's absolutely sure it's the same one. 

Oh, and now it's falling. Right towards his face.

He doesn't remember much after that. It's all a blur of flailing and shouting and running the fuck away that ends with both of them in his apartment this time, staring at each other wild-eyed from across his kitchen table.

“I didn't lock my door...” Trafalgar says after a minute.

“I don't think spiders care about locks, sweetheart.”

“No, I left all my stuff in there. My wallet, my keys. You have to go get it.” 

“Right, right... just gimme a sec.”

“Okay.”

Kid takes a long second, then a few more long seconds, before he finally remembers what it feels like to not be terrified of spiders. “Alright, I'll go get your stuff and lock the door.”

Trafalgar nods at him solemnly, like he had just announced his intention to become a martyr. Yeah, that was real encouraging.

“You wanna just stay here for today?” Kid offers.

“Yeah.”

Okay good, now he has something concrete to live for. He kisses Trafalgar on the cheek for luck on his way out the door. “I'll be back in two minutes, otherwise call the cops.”

Trafalgar's mouth curls like he's holding back a smirk, and Kid grins at him, deciding to go in for another kiss full on the mouth before he leaves. More luck couldn't hurt.

Rescuing Trafalgar's things is easy enough, and he doesn't see the devil spider anywhere. He doesn't try to look either, the little shit can just have the whole place as far as he's concerned. It'd be more convenient to keep Trafalgar at his own apartment anyway. Keep him company. At his apartment. His spider-less apartment.

When he gets back, he sees that Trafalgar has helped himself to the orange juice and already looks quite at home in his kitchen. 

“No problems?” he asks when Kid walks in.

“Nope. Here's your stuff,” Kid says, dropping it all on the table. “Got your phone, wallet, keys... hope you didn't want your charger 'cause I didn't see it.” He sits down across from Trafalgar, and steals the glass of his orange juice for a sip. “So, lucky for you today's my day off. What do you wanna do now?”

“I'd like a shower, first. Can I borrow a change of clothes?”

“Oh um, yeah. Lemme look for something that'll fit... and I'll check for bugs in the tub.”

Trafalgar smiles. “Maybe you could just join me.”

“Yep, I can definitely do that.”

Making out with Trafalgar on a couch was great and all, but it really didn't prepare him for how great making out with Trafalgar wet and naked would be. Trafalgar is not shy either, and Kid is the one who winds up with his back pressed against the shower wall for twenty unforgettable minutes. 

Once the water goes cold he realizes he forgot to wash his hair, except there's no time for that now because Trafalgar is leading him by the hand back to his bedroom without even giving him a chance to dry off.

They get water all over his bed, but Trafalgar is all over his dick so he can't care less.

Trafalgar stays at his place the whole day, and then overnight. Kid has the next day off too, but Trafalgar has work apparently and wakes him up early so he can go back to the spider den and stand guard while Trafalgar goes through his morning routine and picks out new clothes. 

After some long goodbye kisses, which turn into more of a goodbye make out session when Kid gets Trafalgar backed up against the front door, he asks if Trafalgar wants to come over to his place again after work and be impressed by his cooking skills.

Trafalgar agrees, and ends up staying another night.

The rest of the week passes much the same way. Trafalgar spends the majority of the time that he's not at work at Kid's place, and when he has to return to his own apartment Kid goes with him whether or not he's asked. 

The stuff Trafalgar that retrieves from home doesn't seem to make it back there. Instead, Trafalgar's clothes find space in Kid's closet, and Trafalgar's toothbrush takes up residence alongside his own on the bathroom counter, and by the end of the week somehow, when Kid isn't around to argue, his coffeemaker gets shoved away in a cabinet to be replaced by Trafalgar's much fancier machine. 

Kid finds he doesn't really mind that Trafalgar has practically moved in, despite being total strangers to each other before last weekend. On average Trafalgar's much more relaxed than that first night, though he's still not the easiest guy to get along with – he's picky, stubborn, and just plain rude most of the time. But he also has a sense of humor that takes the edge off, he's no slacker, and while he might not say it in so many words, he doesn't keep it a secret that he appreciates whatever Kid does for him, either.

Then of course there's the sex, which is just indescribable.

After more than a month of what amounted to living together, neither of them have ever said the word “boyfriends” but that's what all their friends call them now. 

And when Trafalgar mentions that his lease is up soon, there's really no question about where he's going to stay. 

A few months ago Kid would have thought it was beyond ridiculous that, for all intents and purposes, Trafalgar ended up moving out of his apartment after it was taken over by a spider (and they tell absolutely no one that this is how their relationship started)... but to be fair, it was a pretty big spider.

~Law's POV~

Law knows he's being ridiculous, and he couldn't give less of a shit. Right now he has more important things to worry about. He's trapped in his apartment, utterly terrified, because of the spider that's in his bath tub.

He can't call one of his friends and admit he's going to have a panic attack if he has to confront the spider alone. They'd all been harping on him for the past two weeks about working too much, not sleeping enough, and forgetting to eat five times out of ten.

Sure, any one of them would come over and take care of this spider for him in a heartbeat. But they would also take it as proof that all their nagging had been justified, and that Law had been lying every time he insisted he was fine. They'd only get more overbearing, and he'd never have any peace.

He can't go outside and ask some random stranger either. He'd rather jump out his window before letting just anyone know that he, a grown man, was afraid of a fucking spider.

So he's reduced to this: standing glued to his door, staring out the peephole, waiting for Eustass Kid to get home.

He doesn't know Eustass at all, and logically he has no reason to think that the guy wouldn't just laugh at him and make it common knowledge to the rest of his neighbors that he needs someone to kill spiders for him, but for some reason his fucked up brain has latched onto the idea that Eustass is the sole person he can ask for help right now.

There's something that makes him seem reliable, like he's the kind of person who wouldn't be judgmental about this. Though maybe Law is only projecting that sense of inherent trustworthiness because Eustass is so gorgeous he doesn't want him to be an asshole.

Either way, as soon as Eustass shows up Law tries to not look too obviously desperate and crazy and manages to convince him to get rid of the spider. He's so relieved he could kiss him.

It's all going smoothly, and he's so close to getting through this without anyone realizing that he's actually freaking the fuck out. He'll finally be able to get some sleep with both his sanity and reputation intact.

But then he realizes Eustass didn't kill the spider. No, Eustass caught the spider. It's still alive, and it's crawling around inside a flimsy paper cup that's only two feet away from him.

Law completely loses the tenuous grasp he had on his shit as his stupid head decides this is now a full on life-or-death scenario and shuts off rational thought to assure his survival.

A mere minute later his frontal cortex is back online, but he remembers every horrible second, and the fucking spider is still _somewhere_ in his apartment, and _he doesn't know where_.

This could not get any worse. He is now beyond shame, and he blames Eustass for everything. He doesn't give a shit about anything anymore, he doesn't care that he's making the absolute worst first impression on his hot neighbor, he's just really keyed up and angry and he wants that spider fucking gone.

Eustass is clearly pissed off too, but Law would stab him right in the face if he tried to leave after turning everything to utter shit. Luckily Eustass doesn't try to leave, saving Law from the otherwise inevitable attempted murder charge.

Except... Eustass keeps nodding off, to his displeasure. It's not like he wants to be a shithead and keep waking him up every time he drifts off to la-la land, but what else is he supposed to do? There's no way he's going to fall asleep until the spider is confirmed dead, and that is something only Eustass can do.

Somehow he must fall asleep though, because the next thing he knows he's waking up. He's no longer on the couch exactly, but lying on top of Eustass, who happens to be really comfortable. So comfortable that Law decides to stay like that for a little while before moving.

Everything seems much easier to cope with now that it's morning, he thinks he'll even be able handle living with the fact that he might never know where the spider went.

And Eustass is really sweet about it when he wakes up too, even though Law knows exactly how much of a crazed bitch he was being last night.

Actually... is Eustass coming on to him? He is, right? Because Law happens to know a much better way to show his appreciation than just saying 'thank you.' 

It's going great – excellent really. Eustass is very good at kissing and his hands feel divine. Law is completely free of all worries, and most other thoughts as well to be honest.

But he just happens to look up, and the spider is looking back at him. He's not sure, but he might have punched Eustass in the face while trying to get away as fast as humanly possible. 

Then Eustass is yelling at him to run, in between cursing so foully it'd make a nun's ears fall off, so he keeps going, and winds up in what must be Eustass' apartment. This time Eustass seems to be on the same page, and Law feels completely justified for having freaked out a second time. He's very glad to accept Eustass' offer of sanctuary for the day. 

Once the adrenaline simmers down he's also a bit impatient to pick up where they had to leave off due to the state of emergency, so he makes sure to do that as soon as Eustass is back from getting the spider safely locked away.

It still takes another day or so before he gets enough of a handle on things to feel completely comfortable in his own apartment again, but in the meantime he's gotten to like always having Eustass around. 

Eustass is affectionate and easy going, he doesn't make a big deal out of anything. When Law makes him come along to keep an eye out for the rogue spider while he gets ready for work the next morning, Eustass is happy enough to flop around on his bed and provide running commentary on his taste in clothes and décor until it's time for him to get going.

Eustass keeps inviting him to come over after work as well, and tags along with him when he has to get something from his apartment, even when Law stops asking. Eventually Law realizes he's been staying over at Eustass' every night for a week. He really doesn't feel the need to go back to his old routine anytime soon, so he might as well just see how long this plays out. 

A few weeks later his friends are ecstatic when they finally get him to admit that the reason he's been so relaxed lately is because he's started seeing someone. He doesn't even mind that they know, either. Well, he doesn't mind as much as he usually does. Mostly because he knows he'll have Eustass all to himself for some good old-fashioned stress reduction when he gets home.

And by the time his apartment's lease is coming to an end, he doesn't even bother asking Eustass if he can officially move in. All his stuff is already there anyway, he hasn't had to go back to his own place in weeks. He likes Eustass' apartment much better – it's got Eustass in it after all. He's almost grateful to that spider for giving him a nervous breakdown way back then. Almost. 

But seriously, fuck that spider.


	7. Side Effects, Exceptions, and Extenuating Circumstances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “They said there wouldn't be any side effects.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is this the first time I've ever written Law topping? is it???

Law normally does not enjoy his rotation at the hospital's emergency room. He's seen enough cases of volatile stomach flu and disgusting infected toenails to last him a lifetime.

Tonight is an exception however, because tonight he's currently taking basic information from a cute redhead before moving on to the diagnosis.

His patient, one Eustass Kid, is a physically fit, overall healthy young man in his early 20s. Eustass is also trying not to squirm in his seat while hunched over awkwardly, presumably attempting to lessen the rather obvious fact that he's fully erect.

Law suspects he can guess the problem that brought Eustass in, but it's still protocol to let the patient speak for himself.

Eustass sounds very irritated as he explains that he hasn't been able to get his dick to go down, and he's tried everything but he can't come either, and the warning label on the medication he was given said to go to a doctor for an erection lasting more than four hours.

What an _interesting_ problem. Unfortunately it's also a problem that could lead to permanent damage, and if Law's judgment is at all accurate (it's very accurate, actually) it would be a tragedy to let anything damage the impressive gift Eustass is no-doubt packing. For that matter, it would be remiss of him not to physically inspect the affected area, so he orders Eustass to take off his pants.

Yes, it would indeed be a very real tragedy if he let anything bad happen to Eustass' lovely cock.

He lays out all of Eustass' treatment options, the most effective of which involve needles applied... directly. Eustass is understandably hesitant, but the man needs immediate help, so Law offers one method that uses neither drugs or needles of any kind.

“So as you've said, you're unable to manually stimulate yourself to climax.”

“Yeah, doesn't fucking work.” Eustass grimaces, unable to make eye contact and discuss his attempts at masturbation at the same time.

“That's to be expected. However, have you tried stimulating your prostate?”

Eustass' wide eyes snap to meet his for a split second before they veer off somewhere to the left. “Uh, no. Haven't done that before.”

“Alright, I can show you how to find it and then you can see if that helps at all.”

“You're gonna.. wait, you? Can't you just uh, tell me how to do it?”

“Time is of the essence, Eustass. It will be a matter of two seconds for me to show you, and then you'll have the room to yourself. Now stand up and put your elbows on the exam table, please.”

Eustass does so with plain reluctance, but in the end he's propped up and bent half over, pants down around his knees.

Meanwhile Law snaps on a latex glove and applies a generous dose of medical lubricant to his fingers.

“It's very simple, but it may feel strange. Just try to relax.” With that said, he slips one finger into Eustass as smoothly as he can.

Eustass is dead silent, but Law doesn't need any kind of reaction to know when he's in the right spot. He finds the prostate and rubs over it. “That's what you're looking for, remember the feeling.” He gives another stroke just to make sure Eustass has a clear memory of the sensation, but this time Eustass' hips shudder and he chokes out a mangled word.

“I can do it for you, if you want...” Law has to ask. He'd be loathe not to bend the Hippocratic oath every now and then for the sake of the health and comfort of his patients.

“Nngyeah, s'fine,” Eustass pants.

So he goes ahead and adds another finger, and a third when it's clear that's not enough either. By that time Eustass is flat on the table, ass sticking out as far as he can get it in that position, trembling and gasping from all the dedicated attention Law's skillful fingers are giving him.

“Oh fuck, it's not enough, I can't- nn-haa, just a little more Doc,” he pleads, trying to roll his hips and fuck back onto Law's hand.

Well, if that didn't work then there's nothing else for it. Eustass is the one asking anyway.

It's easier than you might think to find condoms in a hospital, but Law always carries a few regardless. Not for using with his patients of course, he's only making an exception tonight due to extenuating circumstances.

Either way, half a moment later he's balls deep inside Eustass and remembering how much he _loves_ virgins. Eustass is so good and tight, and so responsive to every little thing that he's never felt before. He's squirming around on the table and pushing himself back to accept each thrust, and being surprisingly loud about it too.

Law is not complaining – actually he's very much enjoying the fact that Eustass isn't shy about openly moaning and begging. He'll just have to do some damage control later to make the rest of the ER staff forget they overheard him fucking a patient's brains out in one of the exam rooms.

Even though Eustass is so sensitive, it's still no easy task to make him come. Law appreciates the challenge.

It's only when he's fucking him as hard as he can – with one hand milking Eustass' cock, and the other pulling his head back by the hair, making him arch his back in one long delicious curve – that Eustass finally comes nice and hard all over the exam table, alternating between singing Law sweet praises and cursing like a dock worker.

After being personally responsible for such a spectacular climax, it doesn't take much longer for Law to finish as well. He's feeling very pleased with himself as he cleans up and straightens out his clothes, and he's in no rush to get Eustass out the door, letting the other man take as much time as he needs to come back to earth.

When Eustass is finished collecting himself and getting dressed, he seems to have no idea what to expect now, and can hardly even look in Law's general direction. It's so cute Law just wants to get him on the exam table again, this time on his back, and naked...

“Well, that worked.. thanks...” Eustass says to the wall, interrupting Law's train of thought.

He clears his throat and reassumes his veneer of professionalism. “Of course. I recommend you discontinue that medication, and ask your primary care physician for alternatives. But if you have any problems before you can speak with them...” Law takes out his prescription pad and a pen, and jots down his personal number (taking extra care to make it legible), before handing it over to Eustass with smile. “Feel free to give me a call. You won't have to come down to the hospital next time, I make house visits too.”


	8. Side Effects II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a continuation of the previous chapter, in Kid's POV

It takes Kid a good while to process what the hell just happened to him. He's okay with the fact that a pharmacy error had ended up with him taking a fucking Viagra by mistake, that's not so hard to understand. 

No, he's having trouble with the part where he went to the hospital and wound up getting fucked by the doctor who was supposed to be treating him. 

He'd been a little skeptical when the guy had suggested 'stimulating his prostate,' but heck when the other options were drugs that might not kick in fast enough to do him any good or a fucking needle in his goddamn dick, he was a little too desperate to question it.

The guy was a doctor, he knew what he was talking about right?

It did work, he'll admit that. But that wasn't a real treatment was it?! There had to be some kind of rule against doing that to a patient!

He's also having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that he had the best goddamn orgasm of his life from getting bent over by a stranger and fucked so hard he couldn't see straight. Who the hell was that guy? What gave him the right to make Kid question what he'd been doing wrong in bed his whole life to have never felt anything like that before!

And what had he been thinking, deciding he wouldn't switch without even trying it once. Shit. He really wasn't expecting to have an identity crisis this early in the week.

He eventually wraps his head around it given some time. So what if he had his cherry popped by somebody he'd only met five minutes beforehand? It'd saved his dick from surgical intervention, and also had been life-alteringly good. Win-win for him. Except for the walk of shame out of the hospital's ER wing afterwards... those nurses could've been a little more subtle about making sure _he_ knew that _they_ knew exactly what happened in there. Pervs. At least he'd never have to see them again anyway.

That doctor though... he could technically see him again. He still has his number on the little slip of paper with the hospital logo and printed letterhead identifying the guy as Dr. Trafalgar Law – Internal Medicine Specialist.

He doesn't know why he kept it. When he left the hospital he definitely did not want to see Trafalgar again, not after that extremely-satisfied-but-somehow-still-hungry smirk the guy had given him when he offered to make a house visit. He also does not appreciate the fact that with that look, Trafalgar somehow made what should have been a humiliating experience into one he's relived every night since then. While jerking off. A lot.

He's going fucking crazy over that smirk, and he doesn't know whether he wants to fuck the doctor and wipe that fucking look off his face, or to be fucked by him and see it again. It's all very confusing, and kind of starting to stress him out. 

One night when he's feeling especially pissed that getting himself off no longer seems to do the trick anymore (an orgasm is a fucking orgasm, how could it NOT be satisfying?! That was the whole fucking point!), he finally decides to just call the fucking bastard. If he's kept the stupid number this long he was probably going to do it sometime anyway, might as well get it over with.

Trafalgar sounds simply delighted over the phone to learn he's the guy from the ER two weeks ago, and says he can be there in twenty minutes.

He actually shows up in fifteen minutes, and comes straight into Kid's apartment as soon as Kid opens the door, not waiting for an invitation. 

And then somehow Kid finds himself getting a handjob on the couch, with Trafalgar sitting half in his lap, after the doctor insists he really needs to check to make sure Kid's dick is still working.

He's great with his hands, and Kid is soon shivering with every slow, measured stroke, even while Trafalgar murmurs weird compliments to him and messes up his hair with long fingers that Kid distinctly remembers having had in his ass.

He doesn't care though, because as soon as Trafalgar has decided his dick is hale and hearty the next thing on his agenda is putting his mouth on it, and that just feels fucking incredible. He has no idea how or when the doctor gets on the floor between his knees, he just closes his eyes and cups a hand around the back of Trafalgar's neck and bites his lip instead of yelping in surprise when Trafalgar gets two wet fingers into him.

This has to be a fucking joke. Why didn't anyone tell him blowjobs could get better?? He's been living a lie. 

In no time he's moaning his heart out and coming in Trafalgar's mouth, who swallows with relish and crowds up to him on the couch.

“I checked the results of your blood test,” Trafalgar purrs into his ear, sliding both hands up his thighs. “I'm clean too. Can I fuck you without a condom?”

Ok, seriously. Who the hell let this guy near patients. He should not be a doctor.

Kid says yeah anyway. It's amazing, again. Trafalgar is surprisingly strong for being so skinny, he hooks Kid under the knees and keeps him bent in half with his back pressed into the couch cushions, pounding his ass with the same dedication he showed when the health of Kid's dick was at stake. 

And all Kid has to do is lie there and take it, still dazed from having his mind sucked out of his cock. He could probably get used to this. 

By the time Trafalgar comes, looking exactly as smug and infuriating as he did before, Kid is hard again and the doctor surprises the shit out of him by climbing right on top and sitting on his dick. 

Trafalgar pins his wrists up next to his ears and rides him like he's planning to get a gold medal for it. Kid comes so hard he almost cries.

Afterwards Kid is left sprawled over his couch, unable to move or speak or even think really, and Trafalgar heads out the door with instructions for him to call again soon. 

Holy hell. Holy fucking hell. This guy is trying to kill him. He's not just a bad doctor, he is literally the worst doctor.

Kid calls him again a few days later, the next time his libido overrules rational thought.


	9. My Boyfriend's A Pirate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [corazosan's post](http://corazosan.tumblr.com/post/117340056011/kid-overpowering-law-is-a-okay-but-what-if-law) about our favorite heartstealer and the unlucky object of his affections.

Once Law decided what he wanted, it’s easy enough to get it.

Eustass willingly walks into the trap he sets. He used himself as bait, after all. Eustass had never made any attempt at discretion when he looked at him, it was an open offer without having to be said: take it or leave it.

So Law takes.

Eustass is understandably furious when he finds out that Law took a little more than a one night stand. Since he discovers that the next morning though, after Law is already long gone with his prize, there’s not much he can do about it besides rage at him through a den den mushi.

“Trafalgar you twisted little SHIT. Give it the fuck back!”

Law takes the call in his study, with Eustass' heart already in front of him on the desk. He's only had it for a few hours, but has already found there is nothing he'd rather do than watch it unceasingly beat out its life's tempo. It fills him with satisfaction to see it throb passionately in concert with Eustass' voice, proof that he’s in possession of a vital link to the man.

Until now he had only been able to admire Eustass as a fellow captain, a peer, both mutually curious of the other, but their positions as rivals in the new world still mandated distance. Pirates did not willingly give anything to their rivals that could be used against them, those kinds of things had to be taken by force.

Eustass could accuse him of being the worst, slimiest, most fucked up psycho in all the seas – and he does, at length, very loudly – but Law doesn't have any guilt about his underhanded methods. No honor among thieves, or pirates, etcetera, etcetera.

What matters is that when he prods the heart thumping in front of him, Eustass says, “Ow, you fucker!!”

…

Obviously he doesn't give the heart back. As much as he'd like to see Eustass again, the sentiment is not returned, and he gets the distinct feeling blood would be spilled the next time he and Eustass are in the same room. So for now, the only contact he has with Eustass continues to be over the den den mushi.

He's pleased by this. They've never really had many chances to talk before.

Kid is not so pleased, but humors him anyway, because Law will drum fingers over his heart until he picks up for a little chat, and according to Eustass there's nothing more hair-raisingly annoying than that.

They talk about nothing, usually. Eustass seems to dislike empty silences, so when Law doesn't let him end the call he winds up rambling about whatever he did that day. If his attention lulls, a quick poke to the heart gets him going again. Or at least swearing.

Law himself doesn't have much to say. He might remark on how their travels are going if anything unusual happened, but most of the time he just likes to hear Eustass talk from miles away while he sits here watching his heart beat.

“Ugh, what are you doing now?”

“You can feel that?” Law asks. He's resting his head in his arm on top of the desk, the receiver sitting within conversational distance, and he's lightly tracing over Eustass' heart with just a fingertip.

“ _Yes_. It's fucking creepy, cut it out.”

“We should really do some experimentation...” he murmurs, more to himself than Eustass.

“No thanks. Makes my fucking skin crawl when you hold it... Why the fuck do you do that in the middle of the night, anyway?”

Law pauses. Sometimes he'd just lie with the heart cradled in his palm, steadily thumping away. It was relaxing on nights when he wasn't able to sleep but was too tired to keep working. He'd always been very gentle when handling it for.. personal use... and he hadn't known Eustass would feel it.

“I don't know, Eustass,” he drawls. “Maybe it's love.”

Kid barks a sharp laugh, harsh over the den den mushi. “Don't fuck with me. This isn't _love_ ,” he spits the word out, like it's rotten. “This is fucking sick. If you're doing anything weird I'll cut your shitty balls off, I swear to god Trafalgar.”

Law jabs the heart, making Kid hiss. “You should learn to appreciate romance.”

…

Law is still enjoying the routine a month later.

He doesn't think he'll ever get bored with Eustass or his heart, which has become his favorite possession. He spends a lot of his spare time just watching it, or holding it. It's soothing, like listening to a metronome, or watching a pendulum swing, and comes with the added bonus of knowing he can use it to get Eustass' attention at any time.

They talk over the den den mushi almost every night now. Sometimes Eustass is in a particularly bad mood and refuses to cooperate for longer than a few minutes, but other times Law can get him to go on for half an hour or more about engine repairs, or marine bases, or whatever pirate crew was unlucky enough to run into him that day, before it comes down to the death threats.

Law is careful not to mention anything Kid could use to find him again during their conversations. Eustass has made it explicit that he would like nothing more than to use his fruit powers to lift Law's submarine right from the sea and shake it until his heart fell out, then with that done he'd simply crumple it up like a tin can and chuck it over the horizon, crew and all.

Of course Law would not make things so easy for him, but it would be a catastrophic encounter nonetheless.

He can't help wanting to see Eustass again anyway. Just the heart and the voice is not really enough, maybe he should have taken some more parts...

Even though he has no guarantee that enough time has passed to soften Eustass' temper, Law goes with his impulse when Eustass mentions during one call that his ship is docked at Jarry Island, where apparently the rum is darker than Satan's asshole.

“Oh? We're en route to Kem-Kem. That should be your next stop, right?” he says.

“I guess so.”

“Maybe we can meet there.”

“You gonna give it back, finally?” Eustass sounds sarcastic.

“Let's have a drink and I'll think about it.”

Kid doesn't try to kill him on sight when they meet on the docks at Kem-Kem, which Law takes as a good sign.

“Where is it?” Eustass demands right away, scowling.

“Hello Eustass, it's nice to see you again too.”

“Don't fuck around with me, you little shit. Where. Is. It.”

Law gestures away vaguely. “It's on the sub, perfectly safe. Now, shall we find a bar?”

Eustass growls a bit more, but follows him into town anyway, still scowling.

Eustass is clearly uninterested in having a friendly chat, and at first will only pester him about when he'll give back the heart. But the past few weeks of almost nightly conversations (and more than a few drinks) make it easier to talk, and eventually Law manages to turn the evening in a more pleasant direction.

Of course, one thing leads to another. Eustass seems to entirely forget he has a reason to be angry once Law gets a hand on his cock, and by the end of the night they're wrapped around each other in an inn room. It's very nice, and the only thing Law regrets is now that he has Eustass, the heart is all the way back in his study.

After Eustass passes out and Law stays next to him in bed, his hand spread over the spot where the heart belongs, there's no pulse, no sound, no rhythm to lull him to sleep. Eustass' chest is empty.

He slips out of the room and returns to his ship, then takes the heart back to the inn and puts it in its rightful place, all without waking Eustass. The man sleeps like the dead, it's very convenient for all the sneaking around he despises so much.

With that done, Law lies down next to him again, head resting directly over his heart.

There, much better.

In the morning Law wakes up first. Since it would be prudent to make sure Eustass is in a good mood when he wakes up as well and realizes he's in possession of his heart and no longer has any reason not to track Law down and murder him, Law kisses him awake.

“Mm,” Kid hums, once he recovers from round three. He has his arm around Law, and nuzzles into his hair. “You gave it back.”

“For now. Can I take it with me when I leave?”

“Fuck no. You're such a damn freak.”

“That's too bad,” Law murmurs, stroking his fingers over Kid's chest where the heart is beating strong.

Kid sighs. “You gonna call tonight?”

“Yes.” He doesn't care what anyone says about his methods, even Eustass. _This_ is the right way to romance a pirate.


	10. Foreign Languages 101: How to Make a Boy Blush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mah_blackberreh made a post about law as the egyptian god of death anubis and people started talking and then this happened.

The man wore a mask that seemed to be made entirely of pure gold, hammered thin into the shape of a stoic jackal’s face. If Kid wasn’t currently tied up and gagged and fucking left alone on an altar in what had seemed at first glance to be an abandoned temple, he would have demanded the guy take it off so he could have a better look at the craftsmanship.

As it is though, he’s a little preoccupied by the creep popping out of the shadows like a fucking ghost. And to be completely honest, he’s starting to get freaked out.

Dogface approaches the altar silently, then stands at the side and just looks. He’d probably been sneaking around back there in the dark, watching Kid try to wiggle out of the ropes like a stupid fish flopping on the shore. The knots were tied well, that’s what you get when you’re captured by fishermen. Kid doesn’t waste any time making himself look even more pathetic and concentrates on glaring. At least they hadn’t blindfolded him too.

To be fair, they’d only gagged him when they realized the only Egyptian he knew was how to say “shit for brains,” which he repeated as often and as loudly as possible. Still, he’d just wanted to get his feelings across about being taken hostage immediately after being shipwrecked. They didn’t have be such assholes about it.

But he digresses. Dogface stares at him for a minute, or at least Kid assumes he’s staring but it’s hard to tell through the narrow eye slits. The continued silence makes his hair stand on end. He wants to keep struggling against the ropes even though he knows it’ll take him another 20 minutes of flopping around to get anywhere with these shitty knots, and he doubts this guy would just sit there waiting for him to get free.

Finally Dogface tilts his head to the side, and looks so much like an actual dog cocking its ear Kid wants to laugh. Great, now he’s getting fucking hysterical.

The guy says something he doesn’t understand, since it’s both muffled by the mask and in a language he doesn’t speak. Kid looks at him blankly, and he says it again. Kid tries to shrug. He thinks he hears an irritated sigh from behind the mask, but he’s not sure.

Dogface reaches over and brusquely turns Kid’s face away so he can untie the gag, then grabs him by the chin and turns him back. He says something unintelligible again, in an imperious tone.

Kid stretches his jaw a bit before replying. “Fuck you, shit for brains,” he says with his best sneer, half in Greek and half in Egyptian. Hopefully this guy was better traveled than those fucking fishermen and would get the full message.

Yeah, that is definitely a pissed off huff he hears this time.

Then Dogface takes off his mask, and that wipes the smirk right off Kid’s face. Holy shit, he’s beautiful. Maybe this whole left-as-a-sacrifice thing wasn’t so bad if the Egyptians had gods like this.

“I’ll be fucking you,” the guy says in heavily accented Greek. “Cocksucking bitch,” he adds, as an afterthought.

Well shit.


	11. Dedication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You work for the campus radio station and keep passively aggressively dedicating songs to me”

Law has little interest in listening to the school's radio station. Most of the djs play a weird mix of club music, power rock from the '80s, and recordings of their friend's crappy garage bands.

The only reason he's listening now at all is because Shachi insisted he hear the way the current dj introduces his songs. He doesn't know why Shachi thinks he'd give a shit, but then one song fades out and the dj's voice cuts in. 

“Alright, next song is dedicated to that asshole in my chem lab for the time he made me restart the experiment because I was using his favorite Erlenmeyer flask.” 

'I Don't Give a Fuck' by Boss starts playing.

Shachi snorts. “Nice. He dedicates all his songs like that, it's hilarious. Who the hell has a favorite flask?”

Law does. The rest were crap. And he distinctly remembers making someone in his class give it back last week. Now the bastard, one Eustass Kid, was slandering him on the radio, as if Law had interrupted him halfway through the experiment and had him redo two hours of work, like a crazy person, instead of just ten minutes, like a much less crazy person.

He doesn't say anything during the lab that week. Oh no, not in front of witnesses. Instead he hides the guy's data printout at the very end of class, so Eustass is stuck looking for it until they're the only two left in the lab.

Law slaps the printout down on the workbench Eustass is checking under, making him jump before he looks up and sees what's going on.

“Jesus. Oh you found it, thanks.” He makes to take the page, but Law slides it away.

“Stop talking shit about me,” Law says.

“What? I'm not talking shit about you. Give me my fucking datasheet.”

“I heard your little radio show last night, and you were talking shit. Also you have shit taste in music.”

Eustass laughs. “Oh, that's it? I didn't even say your name, relax.”

“Don't tell me to relax.”

“Alright alright, it was just a joke, sorry. I won't do it anymore. Can I have my results now?”

“Fine,” Law says, and takes his hand off the printout. “Don't say anything else about me.”

Eustass snatches back the datasheet. “I said I wouldn't.”

Law tunes in to the radio show again that night, after looking up Eustass' timeslot on the school website. 

Eustass has an endless list of petty grudges to dedicate songs to. There's one for the guy who took the last sesame bagel at the campus sandwich shop, one for the girl who reminded a professor to collect homework right before class ended, and one for whoever keeps setting off the fire alarm in his dorm at 2AM.

There's not a single dedication that Law can discern is about him for the whole hour, but just as the show is ending and he's satisfied Eustass is going to keep his word, Eustass says, “I'd like to dedicate that whole hour to someone very special: the bitch in my chem lab, you know who you are. See you next time, sweetheart.”

Hell no. That smug piece of shit. He'd be seeing him a lot sooner than that.

Law catches him when he comes out of a lecture the next day. Literally catches him. He grabs Eustass by his jacket, and drags him to the side of the building to avoid making a scene.

Eustass is grinning at him. “Guess I don't need to ask if you heard my show. Thanks for listening.”

Law smacks his arm. “You called me a bitch!” 

“Ow. I called you sweetheart too, doesn't that count for anything?” 

“No it does not!”

“Well what am I supposed to do! You won't let me mention I have a boyfriend on air, how am I supposed to dedicate songs to you?”

Law smacks him again. “I told you I don't want any songs! You have horrible taste! Stop it!”

“Ow, stop hitting me first!”

“No!”

“Ok fine! You win, no more songs.” Eustass rubs his arm, and Law scowls at him. “Geez. Do you still want to come over tonight?”

“Yes,” Law says. He's still mad, but he can make Eustass apologize properly later.


	12. Bring Law Next Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “oops I accidentally slept with my ta.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This one is DoflaKid, with KidLaw and DofLaw in the background. Basically Law has 2 boyfriends and they finally meet.

Kid knows his boyfriend is sleeping with somebody else. That's not his problem. He knew that before they started dating, and that his boyfriend had no intention of breaking things off with the first guy, but it wasn't cheating because that guy also knew about Kid and was totally okay with them dating... or something. 

Whatever, Law explains it better. 

Nobody ever believed he could actually be okay with the fact that for a couple days a week his boyfriend was off getting fucked by someone else, so he usually doesn't mention it. Some of his friends had reacted badly when they asked where Law was and Kid had truthfully answered that Law was with another guy, not seeing the point in lying. 

Then somebody had dropped the word 'slut' and Kid had flipped and punched their face in. Yeah, he's not friends with that guy anymore. Maybe his other friends still think he's delusional, but at least they know better than to talk shit now.

He really doesn't care though. Actually, he thinks it's a pretty sweet setup. He likes Law a lot (a lot), so much that he has a hard time paying attention to anything else whenever Law's around. The only way he can get anything done, or spend time with other people, is when Law is occasionally out of reach. 

And he can rest assured Law won't be bored or anything if he's got somebody else to keep him occupied, because the difference between Law spending a day or two on his own and a day or two getting well fucked is pretty major. Law comes back in a good mood, and that translates almost directly to a good mood for Kid during the rest of the week. 

Kid never even sees the other guy, except for one occasion when Law's car was in the shop and the guy came to pick him up from Kid's place. That had been awkward, if only because Kid wasn't sure what was the polite thing to do in that situation. Should he say hi? Introduce himself? Law ended up solving that dilemma, giving him a long kiss goodbye at the door that had the other guy grinning by the time it was over.

Anyway, none of that is his problem. His problem is that for the last few weeks he's been trying to think of where he'd seen his philosophy TA before, and he's finally figured it out. It's that same guy, the one screwing his boyfriend.

If they hadn't already spent more than a month seeing each other on a weekly basis and not saying anything, Kid probably would have done something to acknowledge the fact that they had a common interest in Law's ass. It'd be weird not to, right? 

But since it took him so long to recognize the guy in the first place, if he said anything now that might be weirder. 

And suddenly he knows a lot more about Law's fuckbuddy than he was expecting to find out, since he'd never really cared to ask Law about him before.

His name is Doflamingo, and he's a graduate student at Kid's college. Half the time he seems more bored with the material than the students are, but he's well-spoken and clearly knows what he's talking about when he leads the discussions. He's also tall, very good looking, and rich if his clothes are as expensive as they look, always dressed up in neatly pressed slacks, polished shoes, and starched shirts. 

Kid suspects many of his fellow students think he's actually the professor, and he knows for a fact Doflamingo has turned down at least three girls from his discussion group alone, because he'd heard them complaining about it at the beginning of the semester. 

Really, it makes way more sense that Law would be dating this guy and sleeping with Kid on the side, not the other way around. Kid is confused, to be completely honest.

He tells Law about it when he gets home. “Hey. That guy you're seeing TAs my phil 220 class.”

“Oh,” Law says. “So you did notice.”

“Well, I only recognized him today. You already knew?”

“Doffy mentioned it at the beginning of the semester.”

Kid had always thought Doffy was a weird name, and now he knows it's short for Doflamingo, an even weirder name.

“Why didn't you say anything?”

Law shrugs. “You said you didn't care to get to know him, and I figured you would prefer to keep doing that.”

“Well this is just weird. Doesn't he think it's weird?”

“I haven't asked him. Legally he's not allowed to bring up relationships with the students, so if you want to know you'll have to ask him.”

“What? Why can't you ask him?”

Law frowns at him. “I'm not a messenger. Do it yourself.”

Well. Maybe he will!

Next week he hangs around after class is over, trying to catch Doflamingo at a good time. As if there's a good time to talk to someone about the fact that you're both screwing the same person. Nobody ever explained those kinds of things, how the hell should he know?

Except there are other students hanging around trying to talk to Doflamingo too, and they all start walking with him as he leaves the room, but then Doflamingo notices Kid is still there and tells the others to just save it for his office hours.

After everyone has wandered off, some of them looking a bit irritated, Doflamingo turns to Kid.

“Did you want something?” he says, lightly.

“Yeah. Uh, so...”

“Is this about Law?”

“Yep.”

“Let's go to my office, then.”

So that's how Kid winds up at a desk with Doflamingo, talking about Law. 

Doflamingo waves away his concern, saying that he's alright talking about it, or not talking about it, really whatever Law wants him to do. And he explains further that Law has already told him at the beginning that as long as Kid didn't expect him to stop seeing Doflamingo, then it'll be up to Kid to decide how involved he wants to get with that side of things.

Before this, Kid really hasn't had much of an interest in any involvement whatsoever. Not out of denial or anything, he just left it up to Law, figuring it was his business to do whatever. But finding out now that neither of them really cared, it feels like a good time to indulge in being nosier than usual. Especially since getting Law to talk about himself was like pulling teeth. Law did say if he wanted to know, that he should just ask it himself.

And first off, he wants to know why the heck Law and Doflamingo aren't dating.

“We do date,” Doflamingo says. “Or, we go on dates. I always suspected he'd turn me down if I asked to make it official though, and that's not really what I wanted anyway. You're more his type, I think.”

“Really.” Kid wasn't expecting that sort of answer.

“Oh yes. You asked him out, not the other way around, right?” 

“Yeah,” Kid says, nodding. How'd he know?

Doflamingo smiles at him, with teeth. “I can see why he'd agree.” 

Oh. Okay. 

Next Kid asks how they started seeing each other, and Doflamingo smiles wider. 

“He was a student in a class I was TAing for a few semesters ago. Jumped me during office hours, second week of class. Can't say I was particularly opposed...”

Kid snorts. He can see that happening. Law's not exactly shy about making it known when he wants something, and he can understand why he'd decide on Doflamingo. The sex must look fantastic.

He'd seen plenty of evidence of it already. Law always returned with new bruises, fingerprints on his hips and wrists, suck marks on his neck and chest and the insides of his thighs, some of them with teeth. Doflamingo probably gave great head.

Doflamingo notices him looking at his mouth. “He talks about you a lot, you know.”

“Yeah?” Kid didn't know that, actually. Law hardly ever mentioned Doflamingo, unless it was to let Kid know when he'd be seeing him next.

“Well, not always directly. I have to admit I ask as well, I hope you don't mind.”

“You ask him about me? Why?”

“I like to hear how you fuck him.”

“How I...” Kid trails off. He doesn't know what to say about that, but he's thinking about what Law might say, how much would he tell Doflamingo.

“It's nothing but praise, I assure you. He makes it sound very good.” Doflamingo's eyes slide over him, not bothering to disguise when they stop below his waist. “I've been wanting to meet you for a while.”

“Oh,” Kid says. More like oh shit, this guy is fucking hitting on him.

“Are you alright? I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, Law would kill me.”

“Yeah, it's just... ”

“I'll call him then,” Doflamingo says, taking out his phone and dialing without giving Kid a chance to say another word. He turns on the speaker, sets the phone down on his desk, and after a few rings Law picks up.

“Hello.”

“Darling, Eustass came by to talk to me. He's here now.” Doflamingo gives Kid a pointed look.

“Hi,” Kid says.

“I see,” Law says, after a moment's pause. “Why are you calling?”

“To ask if it's alright to flirt with him, of course. Why else?”

Law huffs. “Don't screw around. Eustass, ignore him.”

“How rude, we were having a nice time. I like him, by the way. You never mention how charming he is.”

“Stop trying to flatter me and get to the point.”

“Not everyone can be as crude as you, darling,” Doflamingo drawls.

“Whatever,” Law says. “Eustass, he wants to suck your cock.”

“What the fuck?” What. That came out of nowhere, almost.

“I'd recommend it, but it's up to you. If you let him though, I want pictures. Doffy, make sure he takes pictures.”

Kid is pretty sure he's gaping like an idiot, if the amusement on Doflamingo's face is any clue. He snaps his mouth shut.

“Yes dear,” Doflamingo says.

“Seriously?” Kid asks. This was all a lot weirder than he had planned for.

“Do you want to or not?” Law says, starting to sound annoyed. Well, more annoyed.

What the hell, why not. “I guess so, yeah. If you're really ok with it.”

“Of course. Maybe he'll finally shut up about it now. Doffy?”

“Hm?”

“If you do anything strange to him I'll cut your balls off.”

“Wouldn't dream of it, darling.”

“I don't see why you both couldn't work this out on your own. Don't call me unless it's important.” Law hangs up.

“Always so sweet,” Doflamingo murmurs, picking up his phone and putting it away again. Then he scoots his chair back and pats the desk, beaming at Kid. “Shall we?”

Kid gets up and walks around to the other side, leaning against the edge of the desk, still not fully processing that his boyfriend had basically told him to get blown by some other guy. 

Not just any other guy either, but the same one who is fucking his boyfriend on a regular basis, and apparently has heard all about how he is in bed, and also told his boyfriend that he wants to suck Kid's dick.

Doflamingo runs his knuckles up the front of Kid's fly, just grazing him, then he slides his palms down Kid's thighs and shoves his knees apart without warning, making Kid sit on the desk instead of stand. Then Doflamingo dips down and puts his face right between Kid's legs, and uses his teeth to undo the jeans like nothing.

Holy shit. Kid sighs when he feels Doflamingo mouth at his cock, hot and humid through his boxers, and clenches his hands around the edge of the desk when a tongue drags over him.

Abruptly Doflamingo pulls away and looks up at him seriously. “I almost forgot. Pictures.”

“Wha-”

“Take some for Law. Get your phone out.”

Kid does what he's told, and Doflamingo waits until he has his phone in hand before leaning down again. 

Kid has to lean back on his elbow and prop up one foot on the chair Doflamingo is sitting on in order to take a picture of anything besides the top of Doflamingo's head, and it's a struggle to make the stupid camera focus while he's getting hard from Doffy licking his cock. Finally he gets a picture he thinks is decent, just as Doflamingo sits up again.

“Did you get one?” 

“Yeah,” Kid pants.

“Good, take these off.” He tugs on Kid's jeans.

Damn, he's bossy for somebody trying to suck him off. Kind of reminds him of Law. Kid wiggles out of his jeans and boxers, and then moans immediately when Doflamingo swallows him down. 

Oh god yeah, he's good at giving head. Doflamingo hardly seems to need to breathe, and his tongue is everywhere, curling over the head, sliding down the length, it feels so good Kid can't shut up. 

Doflamingo stops only to remind him to take another picture, and say, “Are you this loud for Law? He must love that.”

Kid can only say, “Fuck.”

Within ten minutes he's flat on his back on top of the desk, legs spread shamelessly, with his jeans tangled somewhere down around his ankles. He's got one hand twisted in the collar of Doffy's shirt, with no intention other than to hold on for dear life, and when he feels fingers trace over his balls and below he bucks into Doffy's mouth automatically, coming hard and gasping, “Oh shit motherfucking _christ_ -”

Doflamingo just hums and swallows, finally pulling off to give him a lazy grin. “That was fun. Bring Law with you next time.”

Next time. Jesus, what did he just get himself into.


	13. Sweet Sweet Summer of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kidlaw inspired by the prompt "you’re the /only/ person i don’t know at this bonfire…and i just met you like an hour ago…but now you’re quoting my favorite movie to me and singing to me…and your head is in my lap. can i keep you? AU"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this au is so cheesy it hurts but I refuse to apologize

Law would not describe himself as an outdoorsy person. No one would. He'd lived in the city his whole life. He's never gone camping, or stayed in a cabin, and the idea is far from appealing. His family spent summers vacationing in places like Singapore, or Italy. 

Except for this year, because this year his sister is entering her final year of high school, and their usual summer vacation has been turned into a college visiting trip.

The moment he complained about that to his friends they pounced on him like rabid wolverines and somehow managed to convince him to spend the summer up at some lake. Penguin had invited him and Shachi for the last two summers, and Shachi went both times, but Law had declined. As much as he might like spending the summer with his friends instead of his family, Brazil definitely trumped a lake. Spend his free time surrounded by bugs and dirt? No thank you.

It might not be so bad though. Penguin has been going to that lake since he was a kid, and he still goes even though his parents retired and moved away. And Shachi will not shut up about how fun it is. There's fishing, and hiking, and swimming, and barbecues... alright to Law it doesn't sound that great, there's no internet at all for one thing, or cellphone service, but it has to be better than being dragged along on two dozen campus tours, right?

Either way, a week after the semester ends he finds himself crammed into Penguin's car for a four hour drive up north. The lake itself is huge, Penguin says they're staying on the side where most of the people their age are, away from the families with little kids, and he knows a bunch of the regulars.

Other people, college students like them it seems, are already there when they arrive, and Penguin and Shachi greet them all like good old friends as they get everything out of the car and into the cabin. Law is introduced to a bunch of them, and immediately forgets their names.

They have a cabin reserved for themselves, one of eight arranged around a sort of lodge. The cabins are all small, just enough room for bunk beds Law realizes once he gets inside. He assumes most visitors spend the majority of their time outside or in the lodge.

Shachi confirms this by giving Law a very short tour.

“There's the lake,” he says, pointing at the giant body of water thirty feet away, then he points to the lodge. “And that's the lodge. It's got a fireplace, a ping pong table, a laundry room, the showers, and a kitchen, but we only eat in there if it rains.”

As soon as the car is empty and all their stuff is piled up in the cabin, Penguin and Shachi drag him down to the lake. They get right in the water with everybody else already there, and Law picks out a beach chair under some shade and gets to reading one of the books he brought.

More people keep showing up throughout the afternoon, always greeted by a chorus of the regulars, until there's a little more than twenty all together, not including himself, Penguin, and Shachi. Law tries to avoid the multiple rounds of introductions, and doesn't do so well.

Dinner is a potluck sort of affair, right down by the lake. Somebody drags out a charcoal grill and bbqs up a huge amount of hot dogs and hamburgers, there's beer and iced tea and lemonade, and everybody eats off paper plates, sitting on beach towels and picnic blankets, chatting away.

Once the sun starts going down, people begin to fill up the fire pit with logs and branches and balled up newspaper, douses it all with lighter fluid, and finally toss in a match. When the sun sets the fire is going strong, and they keep adding wood to it until it's a real bonfire.

Everyone is drinking and laughing, somebody pulls out a guitar and people start singing along, and Law starts thinking of a good reason to get away and go back to the cabin. He's been outside for hours already, and it's only the first day. Why the hell did he agree to this?

Shachi or Penguin foil every chance he has to escape by reeling him back in with another beer, then giving him a handful of sparkles that he's supposed to light in the bonfire, then of course somebody brought real fireworks that they stick in the sand a little ways down the shore and set off so he has to stay for those.

By that time he's had enough to drink that he gives up on leaving and resigns himself to sitting on a blanket by the fire and keeping up a conversation with Penguin's friend of a friend, some archaeology student who actually isn't too bad to talk to.

After it's been dark for about an hour and the fireworks have run out, one more group of people show up. Four guys, one of which yells, “Hey assholes!” at them as they walk down from the cabins to the bonfire, and everyone cheers when they see two of them are carrying a pony keg. There's another round of greetings for the newcomers, who seem like lake regulars as well given the way they're raucously heckled for showing up late.

The keg gets tapped and all is forgiven as soon as everybody has a plastic cup filled with foamy, slightly too-warm beer, and are either standing and talking or arranged around the fire, and even the guys that just got here are nicely sloshed.

Law's new acquaintance excuses herself to go stop her drunk boyfriend from messing around with the bbq grill, leaving a free space on the blanket next to him. He only has a few minutes to enjoy being left alone before somebody grabs the empty spot instead of having to sit on the sand.

It's one of the guys that just showed up, the redhead who called everyone assholes. He grins at Law with lazy good humor. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Law says, already thinking of excuses to leave the conversation if this guy turned out to be annoying.

“You're Penguin's friend, right? Tra-fal-gar,” the guy says, carefully drawing out his name and even getting it right on the first try, though Law has no idea if he's supposed to know who this is.

“Yeah.”

The guy beams at him. “I'm Eustass. Hi.”

“Hi,” Law repeats, and can't help smiling back a little bit. This guy, Eustass or whatever, must have been drinking on the way here, because he's only been here fifteen minutes and he's obviously good and drunk already. Also he happens to really cute when he smiles like that.

“Do you want a s'more?” Eustass asks.

“I'm fine, thanks.”

“Okay. I'll be right back.” Then Eustass gets up again and wanders off, leaving behind valuable blanket space that's soon snatched by Shachi.

“Hey!” Shachi says. “Having fun?”

“I guess.”

“I saw you talking to Robin earlier, she's real nice. Know everybody's names yet?”

“Not at all.” He hadn't even known that was her name, actually. Maybe he'll remember now.

Shachi sets into pointing at people and telling him their names, and Law doesn't listen for the most part. He just nods along, sips his beer, and watches the fire.

“That's my spot,” somebody complains from behind them, and Law turns to find Eustass is back, holding a bunch of stuff, including a bag of marshmallows.

“Huh?” Shachi says. “There's still room.” He thumps his hand on the ground next to him.

“No, I'm sitting next to Trafalgar. Get out of my spot, shorty.”

“Well too bad, you can sit in the sand now.”

Eustass glares at him.

Law decides to speak up before they get into a slurred argument about seating arrangements. “He's right, that was his spot.”

“Geez, you too? Fine!” Shachi pushes himself to his feet and puts his hands on his hips. “I'll just go sit with people who appreciate me!” He stomps off and gets distracted about four steps away by somebody passing out apple cobbler.

Eustass plops down on the blanket again and drops his armload of supplies in front of them, grinning widely.

Law watches him tear open the marshmallow bag, pop the first one that falls out into his mouth and eat it, while he grabs another one and pushes it onto the end of a bbq fork.

“You sure you don't want one?” Eustass asks, holding up another marshmallow.

“I don't really like them.”

Eustass pops the third marshmallow into his mouth and chews it thoughtfully, leaning forward to holding the one on the bbq fork right over the bonfire. “Have you ever had a really good one though?”

“Not a good marshmallow, no. But I've never had a s'more if that's what you mean.”

“Seriously? You can't say you don't like them if you haven't had it right. I'm a pro at this, you gotta try a perfect marshmallow at least once.”

“Maybe,” Law says. “I'll admit I'm no expert, but is it supposed to do that?”

While Eustass had been busy admonishing him, his marshmallow had dipped into the flames and is now merrily on fire.

“Oh fuck,” Eustass says. He lifts it up and blows it out, leaving behind a completely blackened blob that he eats right off the fork.

“That looks disgusting,” Law says dryly.

“Still good,” Eustass insists, around a mouthful of melted sugar. “Gimme another one.”

Law pulls another marshmallow out of the bag and hands it over, and Eustass repeats the process of sticking it onto the fork and holding it over the fire.

They watch it roast in silence for half a minute, then Eustass says, “So how d'you like the lake? Penguin said you didn't wanna come.”

“It's big,” Law says. “And wet. It's a lake.” He prefers swimming pools, with chlorinated water and clean tiled bottoms that aren't all mud and worms and weeds, but decides not to disparage the lake that everybody here seems to adore. Also, when did Penguin start talking to strangers about him? He'd have to fix that later.

Eustass snorts. “Yeah, it's one heck of a lake. You don't get outside much, huh?”

“Not if I can help it. Your marshmallow is on fire.”

Eustass swears, blows it out and eats it, and holds out his hand for another.

Law drops the third sacrifice into his palm. “How many do you usually go through? As a professional, I mean.”

“It's a process,” Eustass gripes. “You can't rush art.”

Law hides a smirk by taking a drink of his beer.

Eustass goes through at least ten more marshmallows like that, always forgetting about keeping them out of the fire as soon as he opens his mouth to ask Law something else. During that time, Law learns that Eustass has been coming to the lake every summer for years, his family knows Penguin's family of course, and in addition to cooking marshmallows he's also great at swimming, fishing, and beer pong. Or so he claims.

Law isn't quite sure if he believes him, though if the current situation is anything to go by it's amusing enough just to watch him try.

Eustass is not easily discouraged however, and eventually he manages to toast a marshmallow without burning the hell out of it. He holds it up for Law's inspection. “See? Perfect.”

“It does look edible.” Law can't tell if it's perfect or not, but at least it's not halfway to charcoal.

“There's no such thing as an inedible marshmallow,” Eustass assures him, then passes him the bbq fork. “Hold this for me.”

Law takes it and waits while Eustass rummages around in the other packages that had been laying forgotten on the blanket. He snaps a graham cracker in half, sets a square of chocolate on it, and sandwiches the freshly cooked marshmallow between it all, sliding the whole oozing mess off the end of the prongs with a delicacy normally reserved for disarming bombs.

Law is tempted to 'accidentally' shake the fork just to see what Eustass would do (Law suspects he'd still eat it even if it landed in the sand), but he holds it still and finally Eustass presents him with a finished product.

“Okay,” Eustass says. “If you can take a bite of this and say that's not the most amazing thing ever I'll believe you really don't like marshmallows.”

“What if I don't want a bite?”

“Then I guess we'll never know!” Eustass declares, with finality. “It's gonna get cold though, you want it or not?”

“Alright, just a bite. Since it took you so long.” Law takes the s'more from him and bites off the corner, chewing much slower than he has to because Eustass is watching him expectantly. “Tastes like a very sweet campfire.”

Eustass' brow wrinkles in the perfect picture of confusion. “Is that good or bad?”

“It's not good.”

“Goddamnit, gimme that.” Eustass snatches the rest of the s'more out of his hand and chomps it down in two bites. “It's amazing,” he mumbles, still chewing, then swallows. “Alright, now I'm gonna swim,” he announces to no one in particular, standing up and pulling his shirt off.

“You're drunk,” Law says. “You're going to drown.”

“M'not,” Eustass says, fumbling with the button on his shorts and almost tripping when he tries to kick them off. “M'great at swimming.”

He strips down to his boxers without falling face first into the bonfire or the sand, and somebody yells, “Wooo! Yeah Kid! Take it off!”

“Fuck you, I'm goin' swimming!” Eustass yells back at whoever is laughing now, and nobody seems interested in stopping him when he heads right for the lake.

Law gets up and follows him, because he's mildly concerned this asshole is actually going to drown himself while everybody is too drunk to save him. He probably wouldn't be able to save him either, he can swim alright but dragging somebody out of the water seems unlikely. At the very least he could tell somebody else when Eustass goes under.

Eustass splashes into the lake, leaving Law behind on shore, and once he's deep enough he turns around on his heel and falls backwards into the water with a big splash. He's up again in a second, completely soaked and cackling like a madman.

“Get in the fuckin' lake!” he shouts when he spots Law standing at the water's edge.

“You're an idiot,” Law says. “And you're going to die out there.”

Eustass starts wading back to shore. “What's wrong? Can't swim?”

“I can swim,” Law says, once Eustass is close again and isn't sloshing through the lake at top volume.

“Then come on, water's great.”

“It's a little late for swimming, I think.”

“Nah,” Eustass says, grinning and dripping wet, his hair hanging around his face. Then with surprising speed, he reaches out and grabs Law by the waist, plants one foot down for leverage, and hauls him up and over his shoulder before Law has a chance to bolt.

“Do NOT!” Law yells, or maybe shrieks, he doesn't have the presence of mind to keep his composure and not kick and scream as he's carried off into the lake by a big drunk redheaded idiot, whose only response is to laugh as Law pounds on his stupid back with a fist. He doesn't even care that everyone around the bonfire is probably laughing their asses off at them, he only wants to stay dry. “Don't drop me in there you fucking moron!”

Eustass stops when he's halfway in, keeping Law firmly in place with one hand on the small of his back and the other holding his leg from kicking. Then he dumps Law off his shoulder and into the goddamn lake.

Law hits the water flailing, and as soon as his feet find the bottom he comes back up with only one goal: murder this fucking bastard. He tackles Eustass, and they both topple over with a huge splash.

Eustass proves a lot harder to drown than he thought. Drunk or not the stupid prick manages to survive his best efforts, and eventually he has to stop trying to fight him in the lake to catch his breath while up to his chest in water, with his soaking wet jeans and t-shirt clinging to him.

He'd really rather not look back at the shore and see how many people are watching him act like an idiot, so he just glares as Eustass floats serenely on his back a little ways away. “You're an asshole,” he says.

“Yep,” Eustass agrees, with no hesitation. “Why're you still wearing all that shit? Isn't it heavy?”

“Because I don't want to swim,” Law says, and he could make his point by turning around and getting out of the stupid lake already but he's not ready to face an audience.

“Swimming is best at night,” Eustass says, sounding so relaxed he's almost dreamy.

Law wants to hold him underwater to make him shut up, even though the last twenty attempts didn't work out so well. And he'd never admit it, but the water does feel pretty good now that he's out here. It's very quiet without a bunch of people splashing around in it, the only noise is coming from the bonfire party dying down on the shore. The night is warm too, and so is the lake. He's deep enough that he can tread water and not have mud squishing under his feet.

Screw it, he thinks. He might as well stay out here until people go inside. He wiggles out of his jeans and chucks them as far as he can back towards the shore, and does the same with his t-shirt. They hit the water with wet slaps, but he hopes it'll all wash up somewhere instead of getting lost.

Eustass is grinning at him again.

“Shut up,” Law says, and slaps a splash of water at him.

Eustass shakes his head like a dog drying off. “Are you done tryin' to drown me? Let's swim out to the raft.”

“I'm still going to drown you.”

“Alright, well do it after we get there.” And with that, Eustass makes a neat little turn in the water and starts swimming away.

Law has to think again whether to stay out in the lake or go back to shore. A glance back towards the bonfire confirms that there's still people there. Occasionally a laugh floats out over the water, though it doesn't seem like anybody is looking at the lake, mostly just sitting around. The bonfire is getting smaller, maybe within the next hour he could go back to his cabin without running into anybody. He hopes, anyway. For now he just frowns, and swims after Eustass before the idiot gets too far away.

It takes him a minute to catch up where Eustass is bobbing around next to a square wooden diving platform, which must be anchored to the bottom of the lake somehow to keep it from floating away. The water became too deep to touch the bottom well before reaching the raft.

Law boosts himself up onto the platform so he can take a break from treading water to sit on the edge, facing the shore. It's far enough away that it's hard to make out anything back there but little dark blobs, except for the bonfire that looks about as big as a match flame.

Eustass comes over and leans his crossed arms on the raft, looking up at Law. “You swim slow.”

Law reaches down and cups his hand so he can throw a palmful of water at his face. “Just die.”

But Eustass refuses to listen, he only wipes his face off and grins. He doesn't climb up on the raft either, seeming content to mostly float, resting his head on one arm.

Law props his hands behind himself and idly kicks his feet in the water. It's not as dark as he thought it'd be, even with the moon only a quarter full, and of course there a lot more stars in the sky than there are in the city.

He's not really mad anymore, or at least he's lost the urge to push Eustass under until the idiot stops moving, though that doesn't mean he's ready to forgive him for this forced swimming trip.

“How deep is the lake here?” he asks.

“Dunno. Not that deep,” Eustass says.

“Can you swim to the bottom?”

“Yeah, easy.”

Law is pretty sure he hears a note of pride in that answer. “You should do that. And stay there.”

Eustass huffs. “I liked you better when you were all worried I was gonna drown.”

“Yes, that was before you threw me into the lake.”

“How else was I supposed to get you to take your clothes off?” Eustass says, leering up at him.

Law plants a foot on his shoulder and shoves him off the raft, hard.

Eustass dips underwater and resurfaces grinning, well out of Law's range. “Alright, I'm sorry,” he calls. “I'll make it up to you. Gimme a sec.” Then he goes back under and disappears from sight.

At first Law expects him to pop up a moment later and try to scare him or something. If Eustass grabbed his foot he'd kick him in the face next. Twenty seconds later there's still no sign of him though, and after forty seconds Law's starting to get nervous. He begins to wonder if people will believe him if he claims he didn't drown Eustass. He remembers screaming, 'I'm going to kill you,' at least once, somebody probably heard that.

Just as he's ready to jump in the water himself, if only to have a corpse so he could prove there was no sign of a struggle, Eustass comes back up a few yards away with a splash and a gasp.

“What the hell were you doing,” Law snaps as Eustass paddles over to the raft.

“Gettin' this,” Eustass says, and hefts a big mess of slimy lake weed out of the water and right into Law's lap.

Law scrambles away across the wooden platform, shoving the pile of crap off his legs. “Ugh! Don't put that on me!”

Eustass is laughing. “It's the best I could do! There's no flowers out here, you know.”

Law just scowls and tries to scrape the mud and slime off himself.

“What's the matter, you want something else?”

“Yeah, there's tons of stuff I want at the bottom of this shitty lake,” Law says, heavy on the sarcasm.

“Alright, I'll bring you the full assortment,” Eustass replies seriously, and takes a deep breath before diving down below again.

Several minutes later Eustass has made many more trips, and Law has been presented with a lot of muddy rocks of various sizes, three algae covered branches, and a rotting flip flop. Eustass seems especially proud of that last item, and Law refuses to touch it.

“This is all garbage,” he says.

“You're too picky,” Eustass replies. “Ok, I got one more thing.”

“Stop going down there. You're going to slice yourself open on a broken bottle and bleed out.”

“Nah, it's right here,” Eustass says, and tosses something out of the water onto the raft.

Law leans over to look. “Your underwear. Charming.”

Eustass starts cackling, and on a whim Law picks up his boxers by one corner to fling them as far as he can in the opposite direction. Eustass laughs harder, until he can hardly keep his head above water and has to splash his way to the raft to hold onto the edge.

“Asshole,” he gasps, once he's done laughing his stupid head off. “I'm never gonna find those in the dark.”

Law shrugs, and prods the pile of lake weed still sitting there. “You could make a skirt out of this.”

“I'll make a skirt outta you,” Eustass says offhand, then starts to climb up onto the raft.

“Hey, don't come out now,” Law complains. 

Eustass ignores him. “I'm tired. What d'you want me to do, drown for real?”

“Yes.”

Eustass gives a rough laugh, then breaks off coughing. “Ah shit, cut it out. You made me laugh too hard before.” He rolls on his back and crosses his arms behind his head, lounging completely naked and so pale he's practically glowing in the moonlight. 

Law is half afraid whoever is still up will be able to spot him like a beacon, but when he looks back at the shore it's completely dark. He hadn't noticed the bonfire going out. It stands to reason that now he would finally be able to get back to his cabin without running into anyone, and hopefully tomorrow they'd be too hungover to care about the fact that Eustass carried him off into the lake like a screeching damsel in distress.

He has no idea how long they've been out there, though.

“What time do you think it is?”

“Um,” Eustass says, and looks around at the sky. “About midnight.”

“According to what?”

“North star. See it?”

Law only has a vague notion of the constellations, and when he looks in the same direction as Eustass he can't find it. “No.”

“City kid,” Eustass scoffs, but there's no bite to it. Then he yawns, long and wide, and that makes Law yawn too. “Wanna go back?” he asks.

“Not really,” Law says. And honestly, he doesn't. The thought of swimming all the way to shore just makes him tired.

“Well lay down then, lemme teach you some nature.”

Law pulls his feet out of the water and scoots back on the raft, keeping a good amount of space between them when he lies down. He folds his hands over his stomach and tries to get comfortable on the well weathered wood.

Eustass points up. “You know the Big Dipper, right? The two stars on the side of the cup point to the Little Dipper, and the North Star is the end of the handle” 

Law hums, not really seeing what Eustass is talking about just looking at the sky.

Eustass goes on by himself, tracing invisible lines in the sky over Orion and Leo and Pegasus, and Law follows none of it.

After a while he closes his eyes and just listens to Eustass ramble on about the moon and stars, how he learned the constellations from his friend, how they're supposed to get a meteor shower next month. His voice is quiet for once, low and a bit gravelly in a way that makes Law think of a cat's purr, or an idling engine. 

“Oh,” Eustass says, a little surprised. “Did you see that?”

Law glances up again, sees nothing, and turns to find Eustass looking at him. “What?”

“Shooting star.” 

“Oh.”

Eustass rolls onto his side and props up his head on one fist, still looking at him with that same kind of surprise (or maybe it was awe) Law heard in his voice when he spotted the meteor. “Can I kiss you?”

Law rolls his eyes. “Don't tell me that's what you wished for.”

“I can't tell you,” Eustass says, starting to smirk. “It wouldn't come true.”

“You're an idiot,” Law says.

“Is that a no?”

“No,” Law says, and when Eustass hesitates another second he decides to clarify. “Hurry up already.”

Eustass smiles, leans over to just barely stroke Law's jaw with his thumb, and kisses him, soft and gentle and only once. “I like you,” he murmurs, still so close that Law could count his eyelashes if he opened his own eyes.

“Mmhm,” Law says, and reaches up to put a hand on Eustass' bare hip and pull him in for another.

Eustass doesn't hesitate at all for the next one, or the next dozen, and without really thinking about it Law finds himself pressed firmly against the wood of the raft, with Eustass above him and his fingers threaded into Eustass' long still-damp hair, his other arm looped over Eustass' shoulders, kissing slow and open-mouthed with no urgency to do anything more than that.

Of course, when Eustass strokes down his side and encounters his shorts, Law pauses just long enough to wiggle out of them and kick them off his foot because he wants to feel Eustass' hands on him everywhere, without interruption.

Then they're fully twined together, rubbing smooth against each other, and Eustass keeps trying to say things but Law won't leave his mouth alone long enough to let him speak. It can't be as important as this anyway, especially when Eustass slides a hand between them and circles around them both, working towards a loose and easy finish that ripples through Law like warm waves when it hits him.

He finally breaks away with a sigh, and Eustass nuzzles against his ear as he spills wet onto his stomach a few moments later. For a while they just lie there, legs still tangled up and Eustass making only the smallest effort not to squish Law against the raft, until he rolls off and onto his back again.

Law wipes the cum from himself once he's free, and swishes his hand in the lake to get rid of it. When he settles down again, Eustass cracks an eye open. “C'mere,” he says, and Law takes him up on the offer to scoot in closer and use his shoulder as a pillow. 

Eustass crooks an arm behind his own head and slides the other around Law's back to keep him in place. He's much more comfortable than the raft, and it doesn't take very long for Law to move until he's almost on top of him, with only part of an arm and a leg still touching the hard wood. 

He falls asleep almost immediately after closing his eyes, his last thought being that in a minute he'll get up and swim back to shore because there's no way he's going to spend the night in the middle of this damn lake.


	14. Sweet Sweet Summer of Love II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kidlaw lake au cont'd

Six hours later he wakes up to his hair being tugged. He shakes his head and it turns into a sharp yank. “Ow! Stop it, asshole!” He glares at Eustass, but Eustass is still asleep, snoring away under him. So he turns to look, and the duck that's trying to eat his hair starts hissing right in his face. He'll deny later that he screamed, either way he tries to smack the duck away from him and it flaps its wings to speed off the raft, quacking maniacally the entire time.

As soon as Law is done shouting at the duck to 'get the fuck back here I'll fucking roast you,' he notices that Eustass has woken up sometime during the commotion and is sitting watching him with a big shit-eating grin on his face. 

“What?” Law snarls at him, and Eustass raises his brows and gives him a once over. Then he remembers he's been standing on the raft yelling at the top of his lungs without a stitch of clothing on him. He sits back down and glances around. “Where are my shorts?”

Eustass looks around too, but the raft isn't that big and it's pretty obvious there's nothing on it besides them. “Dunno. You could've borrowed mine if you hadn't thrown them a mile away last night.”

“Shut up.” The sun's already up and there's no way he's going to walk around naked in daylight. “This is all your fault, go get my clothes.”

“Why? I kinda like the view.”

“Shut up.”

“Hey, nothin' like some skinny dipping first thing in the morning to start the day right. You should try it.”

“Just go!”

“Alright alright.” Eustass clambers to his feet and stretches, and okay maybe he's right. The view is pretty good. Before Law is done appreciating it, Eustass shakes out his arms and legs and dives headfirst into the lake. He reappears ten yards away, and calls, “I'll bring you some stuff but if you want it to be dry you still gotta wait by the shore, ok?”

“Fine!” Law waits until Eustass is a good distance away then slips into the water too and starts paddling back.

He goes only far enough that he can scope out the shore and still hide in the water. The beach is empty, there's just a few chairs left behind and a smattering of empty bottles stuck in the sand, and it seems like no one is awake and wandering around yet. Thank god for small favors.

He spots Eustass walking back from the cabins, now dressed in a pair of basketball shorts that sit low on his hips and carrying a bundle of clothes under one arm. 

Eustass stops by the water and spots Law's head sticking up. “Hey, you can come out now.” 

Law shakes his head. 

“What? Nobody's here.”

“Throw something in so I can put it on,” Law insists.

“You made me walk all the way back with my balls out and you won't even take three steps,” Eustass gripes, but he digs a pair of boxers from his pile of stuff and chucks them in Law's direction.

Law gets them on underwater, then finally wades back to shore, where Eustass holds out a towel for him. 

“Here you go,” he says, smirking when Law grabs it and starts drying off, then hands him a shirt and another set of shorts. “Figured you'd want a whole outfit, since you're so modest and all.”

Law frowns, drops the towel, and pulls on the t-shirt.

“Wanna shower? We can share, conserve some water, put you in a better mood...” Eustass trails off, his smirk growing.

“Fuck off.”

“You're a real peach in the morning. C'mon, lemme walk you back at least.” He picks up the towel and waits for Law to put the shorts on, then they head up the shore and back to the cabins. 

When they get to the lodge, Eustass stops and says, “Mine's that way,” jerking a thumb towards the cabins on the other side of the lodge from Law's. “See you later?”

“I'm sure you will,” Law says dryly. “The place isn't that big.”

Eustass leans in to give him a quick kiss right on the mouth, grinning as Law looks around for witnesses immediately after. “Alright sweetheart. Keep the clothes if you want, they look good on you.”

“Bye,” Law snaps, then stalks off towards his cabin. All he wants to do is to wash the lake smell off himself, get dressed in his own damn clothes, and avoid talking to anyone for the rest of the day. And, annoyingly enough, have Eustass kiss him again as soon as possible. 

Law sees Kid around, as predicted. After insisting to Penguin that yes, he came back to the cabin sometime last night, and yes, he's always had a t-shirt from a band he's never heard of, then showering (alone) and changing, he runs into Kid in the kitchen only twenty minutes later. 

Kid is eating cereal with one of the guys he showed up with last night, who makes no comment while Kid gives Law a cheery, “Mornin'.”

“Yeah,” Law mutters. Penguin had claimed there was a coffee maker up here, and if it turns out he lied Law will drive all the way home by himself and leave his idiot friends stranded. 

Kid watches him search cupboards for five minutes before asking what he's looking for, and by then Law is desperate enough to accept help. Kid unearths a solid steel dinosaur that should run on coal or something, and then has to show Law how to use it because it was made about a century ago. It's like he's entered the dark ages.

And in the short window of time between Kid's friend finishing his cereal and leaving, and before anyone else comes into the kitchen, Kid crowds him up against one of the kitchen counters and kisses him stupid while his coffee percolates. 

Kid also invites him to go fishing, but he'd already turned down Shachi's offer of a hike and he doesn't want his friends to make any wild and unfounded assumptions about why he'd rather go fishing with Kid than hiking with them, so he has to decline.

That night there's another big barbecue on the shore for dinner, with just as much food and beer as the previous night, but a slightly smaller bonfire and less fireworks. 

Kid takes the spot next to Law again like he belongs there, offering him whatever he wants off a plate full of grilled chicken and corn on the cob and who knows what else, even though Law already ate. It's another warm evening and he's shirtless, tinged pink all over with sunburn from being on the lake all day, and he yowls when Law smacks his bare shoulder with an open hand just to test how bad it is, but that doesn't deter him from not talking to anybody else the whole time and hogging Law to himself.

Law is all set to convince Kid not to go for another session of night swimming. He's fairly certain if Kid gets in the lake that he will end up in the lake again too, and he does not want to go in the lake. But when the fire starts dying down and other people are going back to the cabins, instead of a repeat of last night Kid drags him away to take a walk along the shore, both of them barefoot and kind of drunk and holding hands as soon as they leave the bonfire's circle of light.

And once they've made it far enough that Law is certain nobody can see them anymore, with Kid chatting the whole time about nothing in particular, he pushes Kid down to the ground so he can climb on top and kiss that grin off the bastard.

Kid is not the least bit surprised, of course. He kisses back with plain delight, opening his mouth for Law's tongue and sliding his hands under the waistband of Law's shorts to settle them low on both hips

As with last night, and this morning briefly in the kitchen, Kid is very nice to kiss. Law has been thinking about it all day, how he's so soft and responsive, and surprisingly not pushy about it considering how he acts the rest of the time. Kid lets Law control the pace while he just lies back and holds on, his thumbs rubbing in lazy circles over Law's hipbones.

That's fine with Law. In fact it's perfect. The sandy lake shore proves softer than the raft, there's no chance of losing their clothes in the water once they're inevitably removed, and he wants to spend a good long time enjoying this. He frames Kid's face with one hand, guiding him into a better angle for deeper kissing, and smooths his other hand over the bare chest under him, satisfyingly warm and solid.

He loses all track of time, but they keep kissing, shifting a bit closer and closer until they're as close as they can get, legs twined and pressed together from hips to shoulders, and still kissing, though a little short of breath now, especially since Law started rocking forward just a bit to get some friction going between them.

That shortens his patience enough that finally he pulls away and sits up to get his shirt off, tossing it well away from the water's edge. 

Kid seems to be out of patience as well once he sees that, reaching up to run his hands over Law's chest, fingers following the black ink of his tattoos to his stomach, and all the way down to palm the hard line of Law's cock through his shorts.

“You're really fuckin' pretty,” Kid says, the first comment either of them have made since Law pushed him down to the sand.

“I know,” Law replies as he slips out of his shorts, which is made a bit more difficult from the fact that he's still sitting on top of Kid. “I really want to suck you off.”

“Shit. Yes. Do whatever you want, sweetheart.”

Law stretches out over him again instead, because first he wants to kiss Kid while feeling those big hands slide up his sides and down his back, rubbing smooth over the curve of his ass before squeezing and kneading. Which makes him want to grind himself against Kid's cock, and Kid groans into his mouth at that.

He'd already seen and felt plenty of proof that Kid is big and thick, but he doesn't think he'll ever get tired of reconfirming it. He reaches between them to tug Kid's shorts off, and once Kid gets the hint he wiggles around underneath Law to finish the job one-handed without having to move his other hand from Law's ass, or take a break from kissing.

After another minute of making out, fully skin to skin, working Kid's naked cock and enduring Kid touching and stroking him everywhere he can reach, Law has to pull away again so he can move down between Kid's legs, leaving a few more kisses along his chest and stomach on the way.

Once he's there he doesn't bother waiting another second before wrapping a hand around the base of Kid's cock and sucking the head into his mouth with a swirl of tongue.

“Try to be quiet,” Law pauses to say when Kid immediately cries out, “Oh fuck!”

“Jesus Christ, yeah, yeah okay, don't stop,” Kid pants. “God, your mouth though--” he breaks off with a loud moan, clutching at Law's hair when he dips down and swallows him again.

Law isn't sure if Kid is actually trying to be quiet at all, but he sounds so good it quickly outweighs any of Law's concern that they aren't far enough away from the cabins not to be overheard. Kid's cock is delicious and heavy on his tongue, and when Kid gets his shit together enough to clap a hand over his own mouth and muffle most of the noise, Law takes that as his cue to enjoy it to the fullest.

Kid only lasts a few minutes under Law's undivided attention, and comes with his fingers fisted tight in Law's hair and his heels dug into the sand. A few moments later all the tension ebbs out of him, and his head lolls back.

“Holy shit,” he gasps. “I think I love you.”

Law lets go of his dick, and licks his lips. Then smirks. “That's nice. I still expect you to take care of this, though.” He slides back on top of Kid, nips at his jaw, and catches him by the wrist to bring his hand to where he wants it. 

Kid closes his hand around him right away and squeezes, starting a slow but firm stroke. He noses against Law's temple, and his arm comes up to drape loosely over Law's back. “Anything you want, gorgeous. That was so fucking good.”

Law fucks into the tight circle of Kid's fist, eventually turning his face up so Kid can stop nuzzling his head and kiss him through it as he spills hot and wet between them.

Kid stops milking his cock when Law pushes his hand away, but neither of them stop kissing.

Law just wraps both arms around Kid's neck, and Kid settles his hands on Law's hips again, and for at least another ten minutes (but who knows, really) they're completely distracted with each other.

Somehow, finally, by silent agreement they slow to a stop, then Law drops his head to Kid's shoulder with a satisfied hum.

“Wanna sleep at mine? My roommates won't give a shit,” Kid says, lightly petting over the small of Law's back.

“I should stay in my own cabin. My roommates will definitely give a shit if I'm missing in the morning.”

“Did they notice last night?”

“No, I just doubt I'd get woken up early by a mangy bird again.”

Kid snorts. “Good thing the duck was there then, right?”

“That thing was probably diseased. Rabid.”

Kid plants a kiss on Law's head. “You'll be fine. I don't wanna sleep out here though, I've got enough sand in my ass already. Let's head back.”

Law doesn't see the problem with staying out a little longer, but since he made a point of staying on top of Kid the whole time (and on his knees for a bit) his ass hasn't touched the ground yet.

They shake out their clothes and get dressed again before heading back down the shore the way they came, slower and quieter this time. Kid drapes an arm around Law's shoulders and keeps him hugged close like that. When they make it back to where the bonfire was it's already been extinguished and everybody is gone, so Law doesn't mind letting Kid keep his arm there until they reach the lodge.

“So,” Kid says, slowing to a stop where they have to part ways and giving his shoulder a squeeze before dropping his hand to Law's waist. “Fishing tomorrow?”

“Fishing again?”

“Yeah. Unless you wanna do something else?”

“Not particularly.”

“Let's go then. Bet you never hooked a worm before, right?”

“I don't want to do that.”

“Gotta learn sometime, city boy.”

“No, I don't think I do.”

“Alright, you can just drink and watch me catch the fish,” Kid says. “I'll get us our own boat, it'll be fun.”

“Fine,” Law says. He has serious doubts about how much fun it'll be, but he doesn't really regret agreeing to spend a day out on the lake when Kid pulls him in close and kisses him so sweetly.


	15. Surprise, You're Married

When Kid wakes up the first thing he sees is a white ceiling and fluorescent lights. He blinks a few times, and turns his head, which feels really heavy and stuffed with cotton at the moment. He’s in a hospital room, that much he can tell, and it must be for a good reason considering how shitty he feels.

The next thing he notices is the man in navy blue hospital scrubs sitting next to his bed, focusing intently on the laptop balanced over his knees. A nurse, probably… but wow is he gorgeous. A face that belongs on magazine covers for sure.

Kid grins, and starts to ask what happened to him that was so bad they gave him the pretty nurse, but his mouth is so dry he coughs instead. Smooth.

It catches the guy’s attention, and who looks up and closes the computer immediately. “You’re awake,” he says, setting his laptop to the side and standing. “How do you feel?”

“Bleh,” Kid says, unsticking his tongue from the roof of his mouth and making a face in the process.

The guy seems to understand that well enough. He picks up a cup of water with a straw off the bedside table and holds it up for him.

Kid goes to take it before he realizes the IV tugging at his arm, so he tries with his left hand instead, and is immediately admonished.  
“Just stay still and use the straw, or you’ll spill it.”

So he huffs and stays still and lets the guy hold the cup for him like he’s an invalid. “Thanks, gorgeous,” he sighs when he’s had enough, and drops back down on the pillow, closing his eyes and listening as the cup is set back down. Just holding his head up for half a minute made him woozy, but if he went back to sleep would the hot nurse still be there…?

Then he feels a cool dry hand on the side of his neck, and he snaps his eyes open again to find the guy leaning over him, staring in his face. Shit, he’s really good looking–dark hair tousled just right, smoky gray eyes, and his hand feels so great..

Kid clears his throat. “What’re you doin’?”

“Checking your pulse.”

“Is that how you’re supposed do it?” Kid asks, starting to grin again. He’s only been awake for two minutes, but he’s pretty sure he’s lucid enough to tell when somebody is flirting with him.

The guy’s eyebrow lifts a fraction. “Yes it is. I am a doctor, after all.” Okay, doctor, not nurse. He moves his hand from Kid’s neck to the side of his face and holds one of his eyelids open to scrutinize his eyeball. “Do you have any pain? Headache? Nausea?”

“No,” Kid says, a little bit flustered with how close they’re getting. This is more intense than the kind of flirty eye contact he’s used to.  
“Good, it seems like the medication is working without a problem.” The doctor lets go of Kid’s face and smooths over his hair before Kid realizes what’s going to happen. That’s… kinda forward. But this guy is definitely sweet on him, that’s for sure. Kid would let him do whatever he wants. “I’ll go get the doctor,” the guy says, and turns to leave.

“Wait- you said you were the doctor,” Kid tries to tell him, but the guy is already out of the room and doesn’t hear. Alright, maybe he’s got a team of doctors. And he probably should’ve asked what the hell happened to him before worrying about whether or not the hospital staff was flirting with him. In his defense though, that doctor is way too fucking fine to think straight around.

The guy returns a few minutes later with a second doctor, and this one explains that Kid’s appendectomy went well, and if he feels up to it he’ll be able to go home instead of spending the night at the hospital.

Kid nods along, still confused because he doesn’t remember anything about needing his appendix out. When he mentions that though, the doctor only tells him forgetting the past day or two is understandable considering the circumstances, and any lingering effects of the anesthesia should wear off in a few hours.

The first doctor sticks around after the second one leaves, so Kid finally asks what happened to him and gets the full story. Apparently he left work yesterday in severe pain and was admitted to the ER, where he promptly got dosed up on pain medication, and then had emergency surgery. Now it’s the day after and he’s just woken up after being asleep for 12 hours.

The doctor, who Kid now thinks of as Dr. Babe, goes on about how that’s an usually long time to stay out after surgery and he was concerned that Kid had a bad reaction to something in between all the pain meds and anesthesia, but he seems fine now that he’s awake.

“Gotcha,” Kid says. “So, should I call one of my friends to pick me up? They know I’m here right?”

“They know, but I can bring you home.”

“You?”

“Yes, me,” Dr. Babe says, like that’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Don’t you have like.. shit to do? Here?”

“No, I took the day off.”

Kid laughs. “Wow, just for me?”

And the guy huffs. “Someone has to keep you from doing anything stupid after a major surgery.”

“Well, if you like me that much how about instead of dropping me off we go out somewhere? And I gotta know your name- wait, shit, is that a wedding ring? You’re married?”

Dr. Babe looks at him like he just asked if the moon was made of cheese. But shit! He really didn’t notice the ring on his finger until right now! How the heck was he supposed to magically know that, what with meeting him for the first time ten minutes ago, and the guy obviously been flirting with him!

“Yes, I’m married,” the guy says slowly.

“Ahh damnit, I should’ve known it was too good to be true.. you’re way too fine to be single. Some lucky bastard must’ve snatched you up years ago, huh?”

Dr. Babe just keeps looking at him, mildly perplexed. “We’re married,” he says. “To each other.”

“What? Is that supposed to be a joke coz it’s not funny.”

The guy is frowning at him now, and Kid scowls back. He’s actually starting to get pissed off, in no small part due to having his hopes brought up and abruptly crushed. And he’s obviously being made fun of.

“Where the hell do you get off messing with people like that,” he complains. “I’m all vulnerable and shit right now, you know! And how do you think your wife would feel if she knew you were at work flirtin’ with your patients? That’s fucked up.”

The doctor sits down in his original chair, frowning even more deeply at him. “Are you being serious?”

“Yeah I am! Just because you’re really attractive doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want, asshole! I don’t know if you like to cheat or tease or what but I’m not gonna-”

“Not that, you idiot,” the guy says, interrupting him before he can pick up steam. “You really don’t remember me? Us? At all?”  
“What am I supposed to remember? I don’t even know you!”

The guy stares at him for a few moments without a word, then squeezes his eyes shut and drops his head in his hands. “I knew I should’ve been in the OR,” he mutters, rubbing his temples, then he takes on a mocking tone. “‘Oh it’s a routine surgery, everything will be fine, get the hell out Trafalgar’… fucking useless.”

Kid doesn’t know what the guy means by that, but he’s getting a little creeped out. Just when he starts to look for that button hospital beds are supposed to have, the ones you can press to call a nurse and have any weirdo doctors taken out of your room, the guy lifts his head again.

“We’ve been married for two years,” he says. “You apparently have some kind of retrograde amnesia, and I am going to kill whatever piece of shit anesthetist was on call last night.”

“Okay, whatever,” Kid says. “I want the other doctor back.”

“Fine.” The guy glares at him for another second, though he stands up again without argument and goes to the door, where he stops. “You have one too, by the way,” he says, holding up his own left hand so Kid can see the gold wedding band again. “Matching set.” Then he leaves.

“Yeah, I think I’d notice bein’ married!” Kid calls after him. That guy is fucking crazy.

Except when he looks… there really is a ring on his finger. What.

And when the guy brings back the second doctor, all of a sudden he’s getting fussed over and asked all these questions about what year it is, what his middle name is, who’s the president, what’s the last thing he remembers.

It’s further confirmed by the other doctor, two nurses, and Killer - who Kid demanded be called up on the spot - that he is in fact married. To this guy. The gorgeous, weirdo, doctor.

What. The hell.


	16. Law Has a Scheme

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> killerkid + law

“Have you two ever fucked?” Trafalgar says, idly.

“Why are you asking me?” Trafalgar doesn’t say another word until Killer just gives up and answers the question. “No.”

“Do you want him to fuck you?” Trafalgar asks, studying him with a sideways glance. “Or... maybe you want to fuck him?”

Killer says absolutely nothing. He has no idea what Trafalgar is trying to do, and he definitely does not want to get mixed up in whatever he's plotting.

“You could, you know. He'd let you.”

Now Trafalgar is watching him straight on, with a cool, intent look that’s decidedly predatory. But only for a moment; then he's gliding away without even a glance backward..

Killer sighs. He doesn't want to be the one to tell Kid that his new sweetheart is going around talking like that, but this is just over the line. He'll tell him. It won't be pleasant, but he'll tell him.

Though he won't mention how Trafalgar hit the nail on the head. He does want to fuck Kid.

He didn't before. He'd entertained the idea once or twice, then never really gave it a second thought. Kid is good looking, nobody could deny that, but his interest to stay by Kid’s side far outweighed any desire to see what might result from pursuing that particular line of inquiry.

But after a couple weeks of watching Kid getting all wrapped up in Trafalgar, and walking in on them more than once (was it really so urgent that they couldn't lock a damn door, shit), yeah, now Killer’s very much interested. Kid in love is very attractive apparently, and seeing the way Trafalgar touches him, kisses him, wraps those long legs around his hips and gets fingers twisted in his hair... how could he not be.

When he tries to tell Kid about what Trafalgar said, Kid laughs.

“Oh shit, he actually talked to you?”

“...Yeah.”

“Aha, damn. I thought he was just messing with me. He said you were lookin', but fuck if I know right?” Kid is notoriously oblivious to anyone being interested in him if they're not up front about it, so that's no surprise. “What'd he say? Some bullshit I bet. Whatever, you can ignore him. But,” and that’s when Kid smirks directly at him, “you don't have to.”

Oh. Well. Fuck.

Killer doesn't confirm if Kid knew exactly what Trafalgar said, and he doesn't know what Trafalgar had said to Kid about him, he just knows he's now got an actual invitation to... whatever.

He doesn't actually do anything with this information until a few days later when Trafalgar gives him an annoyed look and tilts his head, a clear order to follow. Killer watches him walk away, debating whether or not it's really worth it to take an order from Trafalgar. Then he follows him to Kid's room.

Kid is already there, smiling at Trafalgar, and when Killer comes in and shuts the door behind himself the smile turns into a sharp grin.

“Oh, we're doing this now? Great.” He pulls his shirt right off, and Trafalgar looks extremely smug.

Trafalgar tugs Kid over to the bed, and Killer can't think of anything to do besides stand and watch until he figures out what his place in this is supposed to be. He almost thinks they forget about him as soon as they start kissing, but he doesn't really mind having a free pass to observe.

They look good, and they know what to do with each other, quickly stripping off clothes and touching with confident strokes over bare thighs and shoulders.

Trafalgar's leaning against the headboard, with Kid kneeling between his legs, and his dark hands look very good sliding down Kid's pale sides and settling on his hips. When Kid takes a break from his mouth and moves down to his neck, Trafalgar finally catches Killer's eyes.

 _Touch him_ , he mouths. Another order, and this was the point of no return. Voyeurism was one thing, laying his hands on his own captain was a different story entirely.

Killer has to steel himself before he walks over and sets a hand on Kid's back, running over the gentle curve of his spine. Kid doesn't react, besides sighing and sucking on Trafalgar's neck a little more insistently.

Trafalgar tosses something at him, and Killer catches it as it hits him in the chest. Lube. This wasn’t a joke. Unless they just wanted to watch him shy off at the last second, they really expect him to do it. As if he could back down now, though.

He sets the lube aside for the moment, not quite ready to dive right into things no matter how flippant these two seem to be about it, and puts both hands on Kid’s back again, watching the subtle bunch and flex of muscles under his touch with fascination. Kid feels just like he thought he would, warm and strong and solid, the smooth expanse of skin broken only by thin scars. 

Killer maps it all with his hands, from Kid’s broad shoulders and flat shoulderblades, the narrowing line of his waist, to the dip at the small of his back that makes Kid arch a bit when Killer lightly traces over it with calloused fingers, as if he’s ticklish.

He bumps into Trafalgar’s hands where they’re glued to Kid’s hips, and finally dares to skate his palms lower, over the full curve of Kid’s ass. 

Kid hums agreeably, nudging backwards on his knees into Killer’s hands, and Killer can’t help it; his fingers sink into Kid’s flesh and he squeezes, hard. It feels so perfect that it breaks something loose inside him at last, and he only lets go long enough to tear his mask off and throw it to the side because he’s desperate now to put his mouth on Kid’s spine. He leans down to press open kisses anywhere he can reach as he’s grabbing and kneading with both hands and grinding up against Kid, his cock thick and heavy trapped behind denim. 

Kid groans out loud at the sudden offensive, pushing back more insistently, and Trafalgar makes a short, cut off sound. “Watch the teeth,” Killer hears him mutter.

Killer, on the other hand, has lost the ability to hold back. He fumbles blindly to find the lube again and hurries to coat his fingers with it and press them wet between Kid’s legs, only rubbing over him for a second before getting inside, Kid squeezing down on him all hot and slick and soft.

He realizes it was probably a mistake to start with two fingers, Kid is so damn tight, but Kid isn’t exactly complaining. He’s risen onto all fours, head bowed, hips tilted up invitingly, and he’s rambling a halting series of ‘fuck’s, ‘shit’s, and ‘goddamnit’s.

Killer keeps a hand rested on the small of Kid’s back while he fingers him open as gently and efficiently as he’s capable of at the moment, which doesn’t amount to much of either. He decides it’s enough once he’s got three fingers in deep and Kid’s cursing starts getting breathless, making him sound so fucking hot and needy for it that Killer really can’t stand another instant without having him.

“Come on, come on,” Kid chants while Killer tries, with some difficulty, to shove his jeans down and slick himself up at the same time. Eventually he manages it, and he takes Kid roughly by one hip as he lines up, pulling him back even as he presses in, finally, finally.

“Oh fuck,” Kid moans, tossing his head and drawing out the f-sound for a full second. “God, Killer, yes. Fuck yes.” 

“Yeah,” Killer agrees quietly, almost brought to silence by the utterly perfect feeling of sinking all the way in at once. His breath is caught by the snug wet grip of Kid around him, and when he rocks out and in the barest amount it’s so good he’s afraid he’ll come just like that.

But Kid shoves his hips back with no mind for Killer’s struggle, and demands, “Fucking christ, move.” So Killer moves, ignoring what he’s sure is Trafalgar’s low laugh.

He has to start slow or else he really will come, but Kid won’t shut up for a second, urging him by name faster and harder until he’s moving without restraint, hips snapping up against Kid’s backside hard enough to bruise them both. 

He assumes Kid is satisfied once he’s being fucked so soundly he can’t seem to speak, reduced to only moans and full throated cries whenever Killer finds a good spot.

Killer winds up bent over him, pounding into his raised ass after he shoves Kid down by a shoulder and keeps him pinned there against Trafalgar’s chest, who drapes an arm across Kid’s back and otherwise remains uninvolved. Killer tries not to look up too much after the first time he catches Trafalgar watching him closely with lazy, heavy-lidded eyes, making something twist uncomfortably in his gut. 

It’s easy enough to shut his own eyes and focus on keeping up a punishing rhythm. The only things that make it through the rush of blood in his head are Kid’s sounds of unreserved enjoyment and the smack of skin on skin, the tense muscle and bone of Kid’s shoulder, damp with sweat under his hand and getting hard to keep a grip on, and the mad spiral of pleasure centered directly on his cock, hot enough to make his mouth water.

Kid whines, his voice rising high enough to crack and go ragged, and bucks under him, almost slipping away if not for Killer digging his fingers in harder. He’s shuddering, muscles twitching from his shoulders to his thighs. 

Killer slows down as he realizes Kid just came, switching to a languid grind. It doesn’t take long for it to build up inside him, into a climax that seems to last forever, spilling out of him in wave after wave of pure heaven.

He comes back to the sound of his own panting breath, harsh in his ears, and swallows dryly, trying to recover some sense of equilibrium again. He has to consciously let go of where he’s still clinging to Kid’s hip and shoulder before he can let himself drop down to sit on his heels. 

Kid flops over to the side and onto his back once he’s let go, revealing Trafalgar lying there looking fresh as a daisy in comparison, except for the cum spattered on his stomach and a dark, downright vicious bite mark left on the join of his neck and shoulder. 

Kid scrubs a hand over his face after a moment, then rakes it back through his hair. “Jesus,” he croaks. 

Killer can’t help it; he laughs. More of a huff, really, but Kid just looks so wrecked and slightly confused as to why, as if he hadn’t been the one demanding it nonstop. 

Kid smirks back at him with a short flash of teeth, and then Killer’s legs start going numb so he has to get them out from under himself and find a more comfortable position to sit. 

When he starts to move though, Trafalgar sits up and slides out of bed first, silently leaving for the bathroom. Killer looks at Kid, unsure of what that’s supposed to mean for him. Is he expected to stay, or leave now?

Kid answers the unspoken question with his eyes closed, dropping his arm down on the spot next to him and swatting the pillow Trafalgar had just vacated. “Here, stick around if you want. He’ll wanna be next in ten minutes,” he says. Then he cracks his eyes open and pins Killer with a look, grin widening. “Pretty fuckin’ good, right?”

“Yeah,” Killer says, as he eases down onto the bed. Pretty fucking good. That was the understatement of a lifetime.

**Author's Note:**

> btw these are all posted first on [my tumblr](http://www.vegaisthesound.tumblr.com)


End file.
